Sunday, December 1, 2013

Steve Pavlina Newsletter - Issue #58 - November 28, 2013

StevePavlina.com Personal Development Insights Newsletter

Issue #58 - November 28, 2013 - www.StevePavlina.com

Enlightenment Fest - Free Online Event Starts Monday, Dec 2

Learning Strategies and Jeddah Mali are hosting another free Mindfest, starting on Monday, December 2 and going for 6 days. This one has a more spiritual slant to it and covers consciousness, awareness, surrender, intention, and more.

There's no need to wait till Monday though. Go to the sign-up page now, enter your email, and you'll automatically be notified when the Mindfest starts. Each session will only be online for a day or two.

Here's the link to access it: Enlightenment Fest. It's totally free.

Erin Pavlina's New Book

If the subject of astral projection interests you, take a look at Erin Pavlina's new book, The Astral Projection Guidebook: Mastering the Art of Astral Travel.

In Erin's own words...

I wrote this book because so many people send me questions about astral projection. Many people have fearful, frightening experiences, and I knew I could help people have positive astral experiences. When done correctly, astral projection is a thrilling, exciting exploration of the 4th dimension, and proof that you have a soul.
This book is the book I wish was available to me when I was first learning astral projection at the age of 15. I am so pleased to be able to offer a guidebook to those just starting on this path, or those looking to master the ability.

Is astral projection real? I can attest that it is because I've done it numerous times. It's a little like lucid dreaming but quite different experientially. Erin's experience is vastly beyond mine though. She's been exploring astral projection for decades and is uniquely qualified to write the definitive guide on this topic.

Here are some of the topics covered in her new book:

Prepare yourself for a positive astral journey
Achieve separation from your body
Explore the astral realms - alone or with friends
Enjoy mind-blowing astral sex
Protect yourself from dark entities
Train to become an astral warrior

Erin's book has already carved out a strong place within its niche, selling hundreds of copies very quickly and racking up numerous 5-star reviews on Amazon.

The Astral Projection Guidebook is available in multiple formats, including Kindle, iPad/iBooks, Nook, Sony Reader, Kobo, and paperback. You can even request a signed physical copy from Erin if you'd like. You'll find all the details on Erin's website.

How to Take Action

Since the first half of this newsletter is on more spiritual topics, I'll balance out this issue by sharing a very practical and down to earth article.

Let's say you already have pretty good clarity about which goals and projects you'd like to move forward. (If you're not there yet, visit the Archives page on my website, and you'll find numerous articles to help you gain clarity and set quality goals.) Let's also say you have good clarity about which actions you must take, at least in a general sort of way. How do you actually get yourself to take action and complete those tasks efficiently?

Let me share with you a step-by-step process for taking action. This method can do wonders when you want to sink your teeth into your work and make serious progress, especially if you've had issues with procrastination.

Preparation

Strong execution begins with intelligent preparation.

Many execution problems occur because of poor preparation. With good preparation the execution phases will flow more smoothly. If you find yourself struggling to take action, it may be due to nonexistent or sloppy preparation.

Here's the process for preparing:

Make a thorough list of the tasks you desire to complete the next day
Break larger tasks into smaller action steps (ideally no more than 30 minutes each)
Select tasks based on a balance of importance to your goals and relative urgency

Estimate the time required to complete each task, and write that estimate next to each task
Use your time estimates to select a reasonable number of tasks that you genuinely expect to complete that day
For creative tasks that are difficult to estimate, feel free to use timeboxing, but still specify concrete action steps when possible

Assemble tasks into a reasonably logical order
Group similar tasks together, such as by project, location, or type of activity
Now you have a list of specific tasks to be done in linear order

I currently use a spreadsheet to manage my daily list. In different years I've also maintained my daily list in word processors, dedicated apps, paper templates, and spiral notebooks. Use whichever format you prefer. I find that the most important thing is that I enjoy the system I'm using, so I presently do this in Numbers on my Macbook Pro (the crisp Retina display reminds me to pick crisp action steps). I also use a visually pleasing color scheme that makes the list look very pro, so I take it seriously. And of course I can take advantage of the summation feature to automatically add up my time estimates for each task, which makes it easier to fill out my day without grossly overestimating how much I'll get done.

Be specific. Don't clutter your list with unclear, wishy-washy tasks. If a task is well-defined, it will be obvious where to begin. "Research web design" is a poorly defined task. What does that even mean? A more specific version would be: "Review the featured templates on the front page ofwordpress.org/themes, and list at least 10 website design ideas I like that I can potentially use to improve my own site." You don't have to be so wordy in listing your tasks, but make sure it's clear what you're actually going to do to complete each step. "Research" is unclear. Where do you begin? When are you done? Who knows? On the other hand, going to a specific website and looking at specific pages there is a clear action step that you can begin, traverse, and complete.

I cannot emphasize this last point enough. When other people share their goals, projects, and task lists with me, I frequently see the most vague drivel imaginable. Adding tasks to your list that look like "Research business ideas" or "Eat healthy" or "Be more social" are meaningless. Why even bother creating a list if you're going to populate it with fluff? You'd be better off hiring a boss to create your to-do lists for you.

Here's a good rule of thumb for knowing that you have a quality task list: Could you hand your list to a complete stranger with the appropriate skill set and expect them to understand it and complete it? If another person would be baffled at what your tasks actually mean, perhaps you're going to be equally baffled.

A clear and specific step-by-step daily task list is motivating. A sloppy list is a recipe for procrastination. If you feel that getting through your tasks requires tons of pushing and discipline, it may be because you've created an unnecessarily murky situation. When you make a sloppy list, you postpone many decisions to the action phase. I'm suggesting that you make those decisions about what is to be done when you create your list, so that when it comes time to act, you can focus on action, not on making decisions about which actions to take. This reduces the cognitive burden and frees up more energy, which leads to flow.

Run this preparation process at the end of your workday to prepare yourself for the next workday. This is important. It's better to prepare your work for the next day in advance because then you'll preload this work into your mind before you sleep. Your subconscious mind will go to work on it while you're sleeping, which will lead to better insights and smoother execution the next day. By planting clear expectations about what you intend to do the next day, you'll set yourself up for success.

I notice a real difference in my productivity when I prepare for each day in advance, as opposed to creating my to-do list in the morning of the active workday... or worse -- trying to wing it with no clear plan of action.

How long does this preparation process take? The first time you do it, plan on spending about 30 minutes. With practice you can get it down to 15 minutes or less. (Of course there's some variation here depending on the type of work you do.) If you're rushing through the process in a couple of minutes, you're probably not breaking your tasks down into clear and concise action steps, and you'll pay the price during the execution phase. Taking the time to create a quality list of action steps can save you hours in execution, sometimes days.

Execution

The following day when you're ready to get to work, here's the process for taking action on your task list:

Select the next appropriate task from today's task list
Choose the highest priority task (closest to the top of the list) that you can reasonably do next
Consider constraints of time, location, energy, mood, and alertness

Ask yourself if you're ready to complete the task now without distraction
If hungry then eat first to make sure you won't be hungry during the next task
If sleepy take a 20-min nap with an alarm timer to refresh yourself
If you feel you need a change of venue, feel free to move to another room or location to work
If the task needs more clarity, chunk it down further to specify additional steps with time estimates
Inform anyone nearby as needed: Please don't interrupt

Decide and resolve to do the task now, ideally without interruption

Prepare for the task
Start a timer (to measure how long the task actually takes)
Prepare your work environment for the task (materials, music, water, lighting, etc.)
Imagine the task going smoothly and being completed successfully

Begin the task
Identify the first micro-step, and do it
Once the first micro-step is completed, proceed immediately to the next step
Continue until the task is complete

Stick with the current task only
Stay with the task until it's 100% complete; don't jump into other tasks
If other unrelated action ideas arise, write them down to consider later; don't distract yourself from the current task

Complete the task fully
Finish the task in its entirety, so you can put it behind you; leave no loose ends
Put away materials for the task (file papers, neatly organize related computer files, discard trash, etc.)
Stop the timer; record the actual time for the task to mark it as done; note the accuracy of your estimate

Take breaks as needed (ideally between tasks, not during tasks)

This is a very general action plan. Feel free to add details that are relevant for the specific type of work you do.

Daily Review

At the end of your workday, do these steps:

Process any notes you made during the day
Consider each new idea in the context of your current goals and projects
Add actionable ideas to your goals or projects lists
Add ideas that aren't actionable yet to your someday/maybe list

Reflect on your performance
Rate your productivity for the day on a scale of 1 to 10
Consider what you can do to improve; tweak your systems accordingly
Journal about your day to discover more insights (optional)

And then of course run the Preparation process to prepare for the next day.

If you didn't complete as many tasks as you expected, that's okay. Bump incomplete tasks to the next day as needed. Also use your actual task completion times to improve your estimates.

For recurring projects you may want to save a copy of your task list. Then you can copy and paste it into your daily list each time the project comes up. I have such a task list for creating newsletters. Documenting the steps makes it easier to focus on doing the steps instead of wasting mental energy remembering the steps and their proper order.

Sometimes you may find the above process overkill. For simple tasks of course you can just dive in and do them. But if you find yourself stuck or procrastinating on a more challenging or poorly defined project, this process will help you break the project down into clear, simple action steps, especially if you can get each step down to 30 minutes or less.

On a typical daily task list, I might have around 20-30 action steps. Some of these steps take less than 5 minutes. I find this motivating. I can always put in 5 minutes to get started on a project. Most steps are 10-30 minutes, long enough to make a dent but not so long as to seem overwhelming. I do my best to keep each step under 30 minutes except when I feel confident that I can flow through a longer chunk.

Lately I've been using this process to refresh my programming skills. In my 20s I was an exceptionally skilled programmer (coding several published computer games), but I haven't done much serious programming work in the past decade, so my skills in that area have atrophied. Adding the goal "Refresh programming skills" to my goals list got me nowhere. What does that even mean? Where should I begin? By itself that goal was too vague and nebulous to inspire action. I needed to chunk it down into specific projects and actions -- steps I could actually traverse and complete.

When I began listing out action steps like "Use Google to search for programming tutorials" (15 minutes) and "Complete Javascript lesson 11 from Codecademy" (20 minutes), this desire began to take shape. So far this month I've learned Javascript and jQuery, and now I'm learning Python. After that I'll probably learn Ruby, and then I expect to study app programming (Mac OS X or iOS most likely). I've already written an iPad app to draw fractals. It's way too basic to release, but I enjoyed figuring out how to do it as a personal project.

For certain long-term goals, you may find it helpful to combine the processes above with the approach from Goals Into Habits. I've turned my programming skills refresher goal into a daily habit by doing a few lessons after breakfast each morning. I've done this for several weeks now, so it's already a habit. At the end of each day, I list my next action steps for this time block on the following day. For instance, this morning my action steps were to complete Python lessons 13, 14, and 15 from Codecademy, which took me 97 minutes.

All this time I thought the Python language was named after the snake... when it actually got its name from Monty Python. :)

Please follow me on Twitter and Google+ for inspirational messages and quick updates.

Steve Recommends

Here are my recommendations for products and services that I've personally reviewed and which I believe can help you on your personal growth journey. This is a very short list since it only includes my top picks.

Site Build It! - Build an income-generating website.
Getting Rich with Ebooks - Earn passive income from ebooks.
Lefkoe Method - Permanently eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes.
Paraliminals - Accelerate your personal growth.
Sedona Method - Free Audio - Learn to release blocks in a few minutes
The Journal - Keep a secure journal on your PC.
PhotoReading - Read books 3x faster.
Life on Purpose - Discover your life purpose.

Until next time, live consciously!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Steve Pavlina Newsletter #57 - October 17, 2013

StevePavlina.com Personal Development Insights Newsletter

Issue #57 - October 17, 2013 - www.StevePavlina.com

Money Mindfest - Free Online Event Starts Monday

Learning Strategies is hosting another free Mindfest, starting on Monday, October 21 and going for 6 days. This one is about how to align yourself with financial abundance. Given the interest in this topic, this Mindfest is likely to be a super popular one.

Speakers in the Mindfest include Joe Vitale, Paul Scheele, and Jack Canfield. All three are financially abundant friends of mine with good hearts.

I especially like Joe's style because he's a prolific creator. A while back I remember when he was just getting into music. Within 18 months he had already created and released his first four albums.

There's no need to wait till Monday though. Go to the sign-up page now, enter your email, and then you'll automatically be notified when the Mindfest starts. Each session will only be online for about a day. Of all the Mindfests Learning Strategies has offered so far, this is the one you don't want to miss.

Here's the link to access it: Money Mindfest. Again, it's totally free.

How to Get Aligned With Your Desires

Oneness is the state of being free of resistance towards what's arising within your reality, which in subjective language we can call the simulation. Oneness is a sense of cooperation between you and the simulation. It means that the simulation is delivering what you desire -- and that you desire to experience what's currently being simulated. Another way of saying this is that you have what you want, and you want what you have. Other words that mean essentially the same thing as oneness are harmony, congruence, and flow.

Your alignment with oneness is not all or nothing. There are degrees of alignment. You could be very poorly aligned, which means you'll be noticing a lot of conflict between you and the simulation. You'll be experiencing a great deal of what you don't want. Or you could be very strongly aligned with oneness, which means you'll be noticing a delightful sense of harmony and flow. You'll be experiencing just what you desire.

One way to assess your alignment with oneness is to notice how you feel about your life overall. When this alignment is weak, you may experience feelings like sadness, anger, frustration, overwhelm, guilt, regret, or apathy. On the other hand, when your alignment with oneness is strong, you may frequently notice feelings like gratitude, appreciation, compassion, peace, joy, and unconditional love.

Practicing Oneness

How do you create oneness? The objective approach is to act upon the simulation itself. Try to make changes in your physical reality, so that you'll experience more of what you desire and less of what you don't.

Suppose you're having a personal conflict with someone in your life like a friend, family member, or coworker. An objective way to handle this situation would be to discuss your problems with that person and see if you can come to some kind of resolution. And if that doesn't work out, you may distance yourself from this person and spend less time together.

This approach also covers any changes you want to make to your physical body since your body is part of the simulation too. So if you're not happy with your body, then an objective approach might be to change your diet and change your exercise habits to help create the changes in your body you desire.

Now what's the subjective approach to creating oneness? In this case instead of acting on the simulation, you seek to make changes within your consciousness first and then let those changes ripple outwards into the simulation.

Start by imagining what it would feel like if you were already enjoying a sense of oneness with your simulation. I recommend that you start with feelings of gratitude and appreciation. Look around your simulation, and notice things that you can appreciate. Allow yourself to focus on those feelings of appreciation and to deepen them.

When I do this, I might start by looking at my watch and noticing how much I like and appreciate it. I might appreciate the computer I'm using and all it's capable of doing. When I'm at home I often look at my couch and think of what an awesome couch it is -- so soft, cozy, and comfortable.

Getting Aligned

Many years ago when I was deep in debt and about declare bankruptcy, I walked down to the beach and sat on the sand next to the Santa Monica Pier in California, looking out at the ocean, reflecting on my current life situation. My finances were in bad shape, but the rest of my life wasn't bad at all. I was enjoying a positive relationship, I was doing distance running and learning Tae Kwon Do, and I was making great strides in my personal growth. But I was allowing my financial problems to practically take over my emotional life and largely define my overall relationship to the simulation. My life was stressful and seemed to be filled with inescapable problems. I constantly felt like I was treading water.

I realize that these problems were negatively affecting the quality of my life, but solving them was going to take a long time. Did that mean I had to settle for a negative life until all the problems were solved? I'd been dealing with these financial problems for years, and they weren't going to disappear overnight, so where did that leave me? Was I going to have to suffer through more of this?

Then I began asking myself some interesting questions. What if I never solved these problems? Would I be doomed to spend the rest of my life in a state of stress and worry?

It seemed utterly ridiculous to me to perpetuate these negative feelings for the rest of my life just because I was experiencing problems in one area of my life. I accepted that my financial situation was not what I wanted it to be, but did that mean that my life as a whole had to be defined by those problems? Surely there had to be a better way to live.

In that moment I decided to change my overall relationship with the simulation, although I didn't think of it in those terms at the time. I decided that regardless of what was happening with my finances, I still wanted to enjoy my life. I wanted to be happy. Otherwise what was the point of living if I was just going to be stressed the whole time?

At that point I begin paying attention to the scene in front of me. The ocean waves were lapping against the seashore. Seagulls were circling overhead. Children were playing nearby. The sun was shining. The sand felt warm between my toes. I could smell the salty air and feel the cool ocean breeze. I was surrounded by all of this beauty, but I didn't even notice it because my attention was elsewhere.

I noticed that I could consciously control where I put my attention. Regardless of my financial situation, I could still find things in my reality to appreciate and feel good about. Then I realized that no matter what happened in my external life, I could always direct my attention to something positive. I could appreciate beauty. I could appreciate nature. I could appreciate my breathing. I could appreciate happy memories. I realized that even if I was broke for the rest of my life, I could still appreciate all of these things.

That was a major turning point for me in life. I let go of any sense of being victimized by the world, and I embraced the feeling that I was in control of my relationship with life itself. Maybe I couldn't control what was happening out there in the world, but I could control where I put my attention. I can always find something positive to notice.

Once I made that internal shift, my external reality quickly improved, as if it was compelled to bring me the experiences that would match what I was feeling on the inside. I went ahead with the bankruptcy, but it was a smooth and relatively painless experience. I made changes to my business that worked beautifully, and in less than a year I was debt-free and enjoying a positive cash flow.

I had been stuck with these financial problems for years, and trying to solve them by acting on my external world, such as by trying to earn more money or cut expenses, never worked. In the long run, the problems only grew worse. But when I worked on my internal feelings and brought them into alignment with a positive life overall, my external reality began to align with those inner changes. My finances improved dramatically, and I had all the money I needed.

Since that time (which was 1999), I've been enjoying a wonderful flow in my financial life. Once I learned how to create those feelings of appreciation and gratitude, I stopped manifesting an abusive relationship with money. Money and I have been on good terms ever since. I like money. I feel good about the role it plays in my life these days. I like earning money. I like spending money. Money likes me and treats me well.

Do I maintain this relationship perfectly? Certainly not! I screw up and fall out of alignment from time to time. But when I realize what I'm doing, I remind myself that I'm creating this relationship from within. Then I turn my focus back to appreciation and gratitude. And as I reestablish this practice, sure enough, whatever problems I was experiencing with money soon evaporate.

This is a bit oversimplified though because gratitude is just one of many frequencies we can align ourselves with at any given time. Usually feelings of gratitude and appreciation aren't enough. If that's all you do, I suspect you'll stay broke. We can create those nice feelings and still be holding onto a lot of fear and resistance as well. It's not enough to engage in some temporary feel-good sessions if we want to change the simulation. We need to make sure the totality of our vibe is congruent with our desired reality. So let's explore another way to diagnose and identify alignment problems.

Broadcast Your Desires

A revealing test of your alignment with oneness is how comfortable you feel broadcasting your desires into the simulation. In practice this means sharing your desires openly with other people. How would you feel about posting your deepest desires on the Internet, where all your friends, family members, and co-workers can see them?

If you and your reality are in harmony, this should be fairly easy. It's like ordering food at a restaurant. You ask for what you want, and you receive it. You could easily tell other people what you've ordered, or you could post a picture of your meal online for your friends and family to see, and it wouldn't be a big deal. When you're nicely aligned with receiving what you desire, there's no friction in telling other people. Sharing may even enhance your enjoyment.

But when you experience a lack of alignment, you'll have a hard time broadcasting your desires into the simulation. You won't feel good about telling everyone what you want. When you think about sharing your desires openly, you may feel some fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, or other forms of resistance. This is a clear sign that you're holding back. You're not congruent. And so your simulation cannot easily bring you what you desire.

The simulation responds to the totality of the vibes you're emitting. So even if you have a very strong desire and gush appreciation and gratitude, if that desire is still tainted with resistance, such as worrying about how other people may react if they knew the truth about you, then that resistance is part of your vibe too, and it essentially cancels out your desire.

Part of your vibe may be welcoming your desire, while another part is putting the brakes on that request. So how will the simulation respond? It's not a clear and congruent request that you're making, so the best you'll receive is a fuzzy and noncommittal response. This basically means you're going to be in a holding pattern. You'll experience stuckness until you work through this resistance.

Reaching Your Tipping Point

The good news is that you don't have to achieve perfection here. You don't have to identify and release every last bit of resistance within yourself. You just have to release enough of it so that your desire becomes the clear and dominant signal.

Imagine that you're having a conversation while some music is blasting loudly, and you and the other person can't hear each other speak. You don't have to turn the music off completely. You just have to turn down the volume enough that your voices can be heard over the music. It works the same with turning down the resistance that opposes your desires. You don't have to completely eliminate your resistance; you just have to jettison enough resistance so that your desire becomes the dominant signal.

Suppose you have the desire for a certain sexual experience, like a threesome. Now imagine sharing this desire openly, like posting it on your blog so that everyone can see. Search engines can pick it up and connect it to your name. Potential employers would easily be able to find this information. Your family members could discover it. Everyone would know that you like threesomes.

Or suppose you'd like to earn a great deal more money than you're currently earning. Can you share your income goals with everyone you know? Can you share status updates along the way to let everyone know your progress? Do you expect positive support from the people in your life? Do you expect to succeed at your goal? Are you afraid to commit to it? Are you worried you may fail and embarrass yourself?

Notice what kinds of thoughts and feelings come up when you think about sharing your desires openly. Do you fear the judgment of others? Do you worry about what effect it will have on your security? Are you ashamed of your desires? Do you feel guilty for wanting what you want? Do you expect to fail?

All of these and feelings are part of your vibe, even when you're not consciously aware of them. Resistance is most often unconscious, but when you use the litmus test of broadcasting your desires openly, you can expose them and bring them to conscious awareness.

After all, if it's just a simulation that's reading your vibe anyway, it would seem rather foolish to think you can hide anything. The simulation already knows everything you know. You're not hiding anything. You're just living in denial and repelling what you really want. If you were truly aligned with oneness, you wouldn't feel any resistance with respect to broadcasting a desire. You'd know and trust that the simulation would support you in receiving what you want.

When I have a desire that I don't feel comfortable broadcasting openly, I pay attention to my resistant thoughts and feelings, and then I work through them until I feel congruent. Sometimes I'll broadcast a desire before I feel fully congruent since dealing with this conflict openly helps me resolve it internally.

Outer resistance is simply a projection of inner resistance, so they're essentially the same. Due to the equivalency principle, you can get the same gains by working through your resistance internally or externally. You can have these discussions and debates privately within yourself, or you can have them openly with other people. When you're fully aligned, then you can do both with ease.

Invite Your Desires

When I began getting in touch with some of the sexual experiences I wanted to have, I still felt a lot of resistance to them. My Catholic upbringing taught me to link a lot of shame and guilt to sexual desires. It was just a huge bundle of sin.

I couldn't fully work through this challenge using the objective lens, but when I got deeper into subjective reality, I saw that I could solve this problem. I was harboring all the shame and guilt within me, and so it was showing up in my external reality in the form of judgment -- not to mention repelling these desires from actually showing up.

An attitude that has helped me through many challenges like this is curiosity. I become curious as to what might happen if I released my inner resistance to a particular desire. So in this case, I began to reason that it may in fact be possible to invite and experience certain desires -- if I could only let go of my inner resistance. After all, having a threesome shouldn't be that difficult. All it takes is a couple of willing partners, so how difficult could it be?

I pushed myself to work through that resistance, including sharing some of my interests on my blog before I had really worked through my inner resistance. That attracted plenty of judgment from others, but I was fine with that because I wanted to work through it anyway. When I saw my own self-judgments reflected back to me in the form of email feedback from others, it helped me see how it was all a reflection of what I was creating internally.

I also saw how silly these judgments were. For instance, some people equated sexual exploration with abuse. How can it be abusive if it's openly consensual and if everyone feels good about it afterwards? Other people felt it was perverse. But perverse means wrong or wicked, which is merely a relative judgment based on personal tastes. It didn't take long to see just how feeble this opposition was.

As I let go of these judgments, my desires grew stronger, louder, and clearer. It was like turning down a noisy radio. As I shed the resistance, I felt a calm attraction to exploring threesomes, if only to satisfy my curiosity. Yes, it can be intensely sexual, but it can also be really beautiful and loving -- a way for people to come together and open their hearts. It's all about people making each other feel good.

Soon my inner resistance withered to the point where I just felt happy and enthusiastic when I thought about certain sexual desires. I felt much more congruent about inviting them in -- not 100% perfectly congruent, mind you -- but enough that I felt like I could make this a reality without blocking it.

And really that's all it took. As I changed my vibe in this part of my life, I became naturally more playful, flirtatious, and less tense. I found it very easy to invite a threesome, got a yes on the first try, and it was a delightful experience. That happened years ago. It was different than what I expected -- way better in fact. I thought it would be very sexual, and it was, but even more than that it was immensely loving. I felt such a blissful explosion of energy in my heart.

As I continued to go down this path, I identifying more desires and then applied the broadcasting test. Whatever I worried would happen if I were to broadcast a new desire or interest, that became my pointer to the inner resistance I needed to work through. Once I released enough of that internal resistance, my desires tended to show up with relative ease.

What's even more interesting to me though is that as I became internally congruent with my desires, my external world became more congruent and supportive as well. Nowadays I experience very little resistance to creating loving connections with the people in my life. My friends and business partners know what I'm into, and they're fine with it. In fact, many of them have told me about their own intimate explorations after seeing that I was on a similar journey.

By opening up so much, I encourage others around me to do the same. Since I worked through my own resistance in this area, the other people in my simulation seem non-resistant as well. These days I receive a negligible amount of criticism or negative feedback with respect to these interests. Mostly what I receive are connection invites from like-minded people as well as general positive feedback and some how-to questions.

I hope you can even see the logic of why this works. When you become congruent with a desire and feel good about broadcasting it openly, it makes perfect sense that you're going to get better results. Other people who share similar desires will finally become aware of your shared interests.

What I find most amusing is that after I open up about something publicly, people that I've known for a long time will finally confess to me that they have similar desires. As long as I felt incongruent or conflicted, they didn't feel comfortable sharing that with me. Or if I kept silent, they didn't know if they could trust me not to be judgmental. So they kept quiet too. But when I open up, they open up. In other words, when I get myself aligned with a desire, the simulation brings it to me.

What desires are you still ashamed of? What do you fear broadcasting publicly? What's stopping you? The resistance "out there" isn't an issue at all. The only issue for you to resolve is your own inner alignment.

Owning the Consequences of Being Fully You

Sure there may be consequences to being so open and public about your desires. You could get fired. Your current partner might leave you. Your family may disown you. But look at the big picture here. If you're worried about any of these consequences, then your relationship to the simulation sucks anyway. You're stuck in the vibe of fear, and that's going to slow everything in your life to a crawl. You'll never experience what you really want that way.

I think it's best to let all these consequences happen. Why would you want a job where you have to hide part of yourself anyway? Why would you want to be in a relationship where you can't be completely honest with your partner and trust him/her to stick around? Why would you cling to family members who will pressure you to conform? All of this is unnecessary baggage. It's a stupid way to live.

All you're doing is wrapping a huge bundle fear into your vibe, and that will cause your simulator to manifest countless problems for you. Of course you're going to have a crappy job if you fear being yourself. Of course your relationships will suffer if you can't be honest about what you want. When you hold the fear of consequences within your vibe, the simulator absolutely must produce the external manifestations of your fears. This is a surefire way to create what you don't want.

This is where the subjective lens truly shines. When you finally begin to realize that the reason you're stuck in these kinds of situations is that they're the outward manifestations of what you're doing internally to yourself, you can finally wake up to the notion that there's a better and more intelligent way to live. Start creating more alignment within yourself, and the simulation will give you fewer reasons to be afraid.

These apparent outward threats aren't the real problems. The real challenges lie within. You have to start unraveling that bundle of resistance and let some of it go. If you lose your job, you'll find an even better source of income. If your partner leaves you, so what? You'll attract a better partner for you, someone who doesn't require you to pretend. And if your family kicks you out, that isn't a big deal either. The simulator can easily bring you delightful new family members who love you for you. What does family even mean in a dream world anyway? We're all family in this simulation -- there are no strangers.

Do you get this? Do you realize how pointless it is to cling to all your needless fears and worries about what might happen if you actually started broadcasting your desires openly?

How the Simulation Reconfigures to Match Your Desires

What actually happens when you finally do broadcast some of your desires openly? How does this play out?

When you begin vibing with a new desire, meaning that you're coming into alignment with it, the simulation will reconfigure itself to keep pace with your internal changes.

Some people in your reality may react negatively to your shifts. They may whine and complain about it. Let them squawk, but stand your ground. If they can't accept what you're doing, let them distance themselves from you. Don't get clingy.

If you can allow these people to have their reactions without fighting them, they'll eventually stop resisting. They may come to accept and embrace your new vibe. Or they may accept it but not feel comfortable with it and distance themselves from you. Or they may have a big issue with it and excuse themselves from your reality by breaking off contact. In any event, the resistance will end.

No matter how they react, let them seek out their new positions in your reality relative to your new vibe. There's no need to resist these changes; that will only slow things down. Do your best to accept that as you undergo big internal shifts, your outer reality must reconfigure itself to match, sometimes dramatically.

Now the good news is that while some people may shift further away from you, other people will move closer to you. Some of these people will already be in your life, while others will appear as new characters in your reality. Your new vibe is attracting them to you because these people (or characters) resonate more strongly with your new vibe than with your old one.

Let these new people enter your life. Welcome them with open arms! Celebrate their arrival! And smack yourself for unnecessarily keeping them out of your life for so long.

You may fear that when you start shifting into a new vibe, you're going to lose too many friends and end up alone. There's this fear of abandonment -- that such shifts will isolate you and leave you worse off than before. This may indeed seem to be happening initially, but try not to worry. You can only manage so many close connections in your life at any given time, so if you're going to attract more compatible connections, the simulator may need to create some space for them first.

It took me a while to get comfortable with this shifting process, but the more I do it, the more I can see that I never end up alone on the other side. It's always the opposite of that. As I allow the simulator to reconfigure itself, I feel a delightful twinge of anticipation -- and a hefty dose of curiosity -- since I know that some amazing new connections are about to show up.

One of the first times I made such a shift was when I was a teenager, finally realizing that Christianity wasn't for me. All of my friends and family were Christian, however, so I was genuinely worried that I'd be cut off from any and all social support if I kept going. And initially that did seem to be the case. But as I let go of my lingering resistance to this change and embraced it more congruently, I easily attracted an abundance of new friends -- friends who were smart, open-minded, and curious about the world like I was. That was a truly golden time for me socially. I enjoyed such a wonderful expansion in this part of my life. It was amazing!

Now I've been through this process enough times that I feel less and less resistance with each pass. I know that whenever I create a significant inner shift in my vibe, my outer world will reconfigure itself to match -- especially my social circle. I trust that my life will be even better on the other side. This isn't some kind of blind faith. It's a trust rooted in experience -- that's simply how it always turns out.

What happened when I gave up on trying to be an employee? I made lots of new friends who were entrepreneurs. What happened when I started traveling a lot? I made lots of new friends who love traveling. What happened when I broadcasted that I love cuddling? I started getting lots of cuddle invites from like-minded women. These are good outcomes, are they not?

What about the down side? I have fewer employee-minded friends, fewer friends who hate traveling, and fewer non-cuddly female friends. Is that actually a bad outcome? Do I miss those old friends? Uh... to be honest it would take a bit of mental effort just to remember some of them. So no.

Yes, if you change your path, you're going to lose some friends. You'll lose the ones who can't support you on your new path. You'll lose the whiny ones, the ones who want you to stay broke, the ones who like seeing you depressed so they can feel better about themselves, the ones who don't want to see you succeed because it threatens their fragile self-esteem. Is that really the part of the simulation you want to cling to? If so, well... good luck with that.

Don't get clingy with your simulation. Lean into letting go of the old, so you can receive the new. It's really beautiful to shift into alignment with new desires and then to see your outer world change to match it.

Oneness means that your inner world and your outer world are the same world. If you don't like what you see in your simulation, change the vibe you're emitting, and release your resistance to your desired new reality. Then your outer world will reconfigure itself to keep pace with you.

Side note: If you want more help aligning with your desires, especially when it comes to financial abundance, be sure to listen to the free upcoming Money Mindfest. It's going to cover some of what I shared above from another perspective that you may find helpful too.

Please follow me on Twitter and Google+ for inspirational messages and quick updates.

Steve Recommends

Until next time, live consciously!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Steve Pavlina Newsletter #55 - June 4, 2013

StevePavlina.com Personal Development InsightsNewsletter

Issue #55 - June 4, 2013 - www.StevePavlina.com

New Subjective Reality Audio Program Update

After an extended travel break, I'm back in Las Vegas to continue working on the new Subjective Reality audio program. I have several hours of material recorded so far, and I'm aiming for about 10-15 hours of total content.

As you may know, I was originally going to do this program as an ebook, but I switched to audio during the design phase. In retrospect I think that was the right decision. I think you'll appreciate the extra expressiveness as well since it makes the material easier to grasp.

After the audio program is released, I may have it transcribed into ebook format, but that won't happen right away. At this time I really feel that audio is the best format for this material.

If you like depth, detail, challenging ideas, and practical action steps, with the dots between them meticulously connected, I think you'll love this new program. But if you're in the mood for some lighter or more vanilla material, I'd steer you away from this one.

My priority for this product is to make it of very high quality. For this type of creative work I often have to do a lot of experimentation, which can be unpredictable at times, so I'm not targeting any specific release date. Based on my current travel schedule and rate of progress, the best release estimate I can give at this point would sometime in the second half of July. I'll be sure to keep you posted on my progress. Once all the creative work is done and we only have editing work remaining, then I'll be able to offer a more accurate release date.

Upcoming Meet-ups

I recently returned from a 30-day trip to Europe, visiting Germany, the Netherlands, and the United Kingdom. Along the way we had free meet-ups in Berlin, Amsterdam, and London, with great turnouts for each (25-40 people per meet-up). It's always nice to bring growth-oriented people together in person.

This summer I have upcoming trips to New York City (late July), Minneapolis (early August), and Oslo (late August), so we'll likely have meet-ups in those cities too. I normally announce new meet-ups on my blog,Twitter, and Google+ pages.

Possible European Workshop in Early September

Earlier this week I was video-chatting with Morten Hake and Knut Johannessen, who organized the Morten Hake Summit in Oslo, Norway last year. They're doing the summit again this year, and I'll be speaking there along with another great line-up of speakers. This conference had such a terrific energy last year, so I'm really looking forward to going back.

Morten and Knut suggested the idea that I could do a full workshop after the summit, possibly using the same facilities. This would be in Oslo too.

At this point I'd just like some feedback to gauge the level of interest in doing a European workshop, basically a 3-day affair similar to the ones I've done in Vegas. If a European workshop interests you, and you expect you'll want to attend, please reply to this email to let me know. Timing-wise it would probably be in early September, perhaps the weekend after the Morten Hake Summit (which is Aug 31 to Sep 1).

Why Oslo? I'll already be there for the Morten Hake Summit. Obviously I could do this workshop in other cities too, but this is a very accessible opportunity since I'd have local help with the logistics, and we may have a lot of people who want to attend both events.

No matter where in Europe we might host a workshop, some people will suggest other cities that are more convenient for them. But I think that just about any city in Europe will be a lot more accessible to Europeans than Las Vegas, especially since flights within Europe are inexpensive compared to transcontinental travel.

At this point a European workshop is just in the idea stage, so no promises. If such a workshop interests you though, please do let me know.

Spring Forest Healingfest - Free Online Event

Learning Strategies is hosting another free Mindfest, starting on June 10 and going for 6 days. This one is about Qigong, an Eastern energy healing practice.

If you'd like to learn more about Spring Forest Qigong, I encourage you to watch this 8-minute news videoabout it.

Here's the link with all the info you need to participate: Spring Forest Healingfest. Again, it's totally free.

Direct Dating Summit - New York City

If you live in or near New York City and you're a guy who's interested in improving your ability to be direct, honest, and confident in your relationship life, you'll likely enjoy the upcoming Direct Dating Summit, July 27-28.

This will be my third time speaking at DDS. It's a fun and lively conference with a practical, down-to-earth focus. The speakers at DDS share a variety of effective ideas to help you create a happy and successful relationship life for yourself.

You can register for DDS for a deep discount if you do so soon -- it's a fantastic deal for the whole weekend.

Are You a Worthwhile Investment?

If people aren't investing in your success, you probably haven't created a reliable record to help them see you as a worthwhile investment.

People are often willing to be helpful, but intuitively they don't want to waste their time and energy where it won't likely produce anything worthwhile for anyone.

You may get love-based investments such as a family member who will loan you money no matter what, or friends who will keep sharing basic referrals with you, but if you'd like to expand the network of people who will bring you ideas, opportunities, timely advice, etc., then it helps a great deal to demonstrate that you're worthy of such help. You can do this by respecting the time and energy it takes others to help you, by graciously accepting their help when offered (and when it makes sense to do so), and by reciprocating when you can.

Many people are poor receivers of help. They may request it, but when it's offered to them, they fumble and drop the ball. They borrow money but don't pay it back in a timely manner. They ask for advice but seldom apply it or test it. If you behave in this way, you condition other people to predict that they can expect more of the same. Soon they'll conclude that you're a bad investment, and you'll see such help and opportunities drying up.

Over time this will also reduce the quality of the help you receive. Smart people will invest their time and energy elsewhere. Only more emotional, less rational people will stick around and continue to help you, but their advice and referrals will be of lower quality in general than that which comes from more sensible people.

It's not that people need to receive a direct payback for their help, but they'd probably like to see some positive impact from it. It feels good to offer someone help and see them leverage it fully. Then you know you played a part in their success, even if it doesn't benefit you personally. Continuing to invest in someone who constantly drops the ball isn't rational, and so rational people will eventually abandon helping such people.

If you establish a pattern of squandering opportunities, especially by being lazy or bumbling in your affairs when help is offered, you can expect that help to be diverted elsewhere, away from you. You've unfortunately taught others to regard you as a bad bet and a waste of their time and energy. Many people make this unconscious mistake, and then they wonder why the only help they seem to get is of poor quality (or nonexistent). The reality is that the high-quality, rational advice, leads, referrals, and opportunities are being given to those who are worthy of them.

On the other hand, if you take the ball and run with it fully when help is offered, you teach people that you're a worthwhile investment. This will encourage them to invest even more in you down the road.

This dynamic can be seen in many teacher-student relationships. Poor students often condition their teachers to see them as bad investments, while good students train their teachers to invest extra time and energy in their development and education, such as by attracting internship offers and positive letters of recommendation.

A nice example of rational investments winning out over emotional ones can be found in the book/movieMoneyball, which is the story of how baseball was transformed by a drive for more rational investments in players who can contribute the most to winning games, as opposed to intuitive impressions, hunches, and other less rational analyses of players.

How to Become Investment Worthy

How do you become investment worthy? You do so by making a serious commitment to your education, skill-building, and habit development. It's basically the same approach you'd use to become a professional baseball player. You must practice a lot to become as skilled as you can. Your value to others (within the scope of the game) can be seen in your performance stats.

In Moneyball it was learned that the best predictor of future performance is past performance. That's what rational people bet on.

A common mistake people make in terms of predicting their investment-worthiness is overvaluing their intentions, motivation, and perceived level of commitment.

Lots of people have goals and intentions, but so many of them have lousy track records. Consider, for instance, the person who keeps sharing ambitious goals and intentions on their Facebook page, but the only consistency they demonstrate is posting pictures of their dog. Or consider someone who seems to change careers every six months. From the perspective of rationality, these people do not look like wise investments. Any help you give them will likely fizzle.

Now consider someone who takes the time to create a positive track record. Perhaps this person takes on fewer goals, but she makes a point of really committing to each one. Her friends and associates begin to see that she's an achiever and a doer. When she sets her mind to something, she gets it done without delay. This person will be perceived as a better bet, and intelligent people will begin flocking to her, knowing that helping her will produce some results, such as positive ripples for society as a whole.

If you occasionally wonder why your network only brings you shallow, stupid, or scammy ideas and referrals, take a good look at your established track record. You may very well have conditioned the smarter people to perceive you as a bad bet. Perhaps you've shown a consistent pattern of weak or erratic performance that turns intelligent people away.

There's no mandate that says you must increase your investment worthiness. But if you wish to stretch yourself and tackle bigger goals at some point, you'll surely need help. If you see yourself eventually moving in this direction, now is the time to begin building and demonstrating patterns of reliability, consistency, and persistence.

Please follow me on Twitter and Google+ for inspirational messages and quick updates.

Steve Recommends

Until next time, live consciously!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Steve Pavlina Newsletter #54 - April 17, 2013

StevePavlina.com Personal Development InsightsNewsletter

Issue #54 - April 17, 2013 - www.StevePavlina.com

In this issue I have lots of free stuff to share with you...

Food Revolution Summit - Free

When I was a kid and my Mom would take my siblings and me to the local shopping mall, she'd bribe us with an offer of an ice cream cone from Baskin-Robbins if we'd behave ourselves. So if we acted like monkeys in the stores, we wouldn't get any ice cream on the way back to the car. Most of the time, sometimes with a large amount of begging and pleading, we were able to get our cones.

Many years later I began learning about the long-term consequences of eating junk food -- on the body and particularly the brain. In my early 20s, I decided to upgrade my diet. I went vegetarian first, then 100% vegan several years later. With each change I felt less mentally foggy. I could concentrate more easily and think more clearly. It's been about 20 years since I've eaten animal flesh and more than 16 years since I've had any animal products at all, including ice cream. I don't miss any of it.

As it so happens, John Robbins (son of Irv Robbins, one of Baskin-Robbins' co-founders) decided to walk away from his father's ice cream empire. Instead of devoting his life to selling junk food, he became a spokesman for nutritious food, healthy people, and a sustainable planet. He opted for a greater purpose in life.

John Robbins is the bestselling author of some of my favorite books on health and sustainability, includingDiet for a New America, which was one of the first books I read on how our dietary choices impact our bodies and the planet as a whole.

I've never met John, but I had the chance to hang out with his son Ocean for several days last year when we were at a retreat together. Ocean and I became fast friends and have stayed in touch. Ocean and his Dad work closely together, and the two of them are passionate about creating a healthier and more sustainable planet, a cause I support. I told Ocean I wanted to help spread the word about any cool projects that might be of interest to my readers. Here's one of them...

From April 27 to May 5, Ocean and John Robbins are hosting a free online event called the Food Revolution Summit.

In this summit John interviews 24 leading voices in the movement for a healthier and more sustainable planet. The list of experts includes Andrew Kimbrell, Brenda Davis, Mayor Cory Booker, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dolores Huerta, Jeffrey Smith, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, Kathy Freston, Ken Cook, Kris Carr, Mark Bittman, Dr. Mark Hyman, Michael Bernard Beckwith, Dr. Michael Klaper, Mike Adams, Dr. Neal Barnard, Rip Esselstyn, Robyn O'Brien, Russell Simmons, Seane Corn, Thom Hartmann, Dr. Vandana Shiva, Will Potter, and Zoe Weil.

Here are some of the topics covered by the summit:

How to prevent companies like Monsanto from destroying your health and the health of the planet
What should you really be eating for the best health, energy, and mental clarity?
How to prevent and even reverse heart disease without drugs, surgery, or excessive exercise
What's the real truth about soy? Is it a healthy food or something to be avoided?
How to determine if you're allergic to certain foods
Are organic foods worth the extra cost?
What can you realistically do to make a difference in the health and sustainability of the planet?
... and many other topics

If you'd like to get started, visit the Food Revolution Summit to sign up now. Again, it's totally free. There's a free bonus when you sign up too.

Please help spread the word about this summit if you can. The more people who invest in our long-term health and sustainability, the better.

Diamond Feng Shui Fest - Free

Learning Strategies is hosting another free Mindfest starting on April 29. This one is on the topic of feng shui, which I'd describe as the practice of cultivating a positive and supportive relationship with your environment, especially with your living space and workspace.

I didn't know much about feng shui until I started experimenting with it in 2005. I was skeptical about it, but it seemed harmless enough, so I took a few minutes to put together a little wealth shrine in my home -- a symbolic way of inviting more abundance into my life. I didn't expect much from it, but to my surprise more money starting flowing into my life almost immediately. I shared the details in a 2005 blog post calledQuestioning Your Beliefs.

I don't necessarily buy into the idea that chi (life energy) is flowing throughout my home. That said, I do like the general idea behind feng shui, which is to create a space that stimulates positive feelings.

Another thing I like about feng shui is that the ideas are easy to test. Since the practice of feng shui can yield a more organized, less cluttered, and less stressful environment, I find it easy to be open-minded about it.

You've probably been in environments that were designed with feng shui principles in mind. Perhaps you've noticed that you feel very relaxed and comfortable in certain places. The location, the color scheme, and the balance of objects help you feel at ease. There's a good chance that whoever designed those spaces put some thought into feng shui.

In this free online program, you can learn how to make simple changes to your home and workspace to create a similar effect, so your space will support whatever feelings you desire, such as relaxation and comfort, motivation and inspiration, or drive and ambition.

If this interests you, here's the link to sign up: Diamond Feng Shui Fest. Again, it's totally free.

Direct Dating Summit - Berlin

If you live in or near Berlin and you're a guy who's interested in improving your dating and relationship skills as well as your general confidence, I invite you to attend the Direct Dating Summit, April 27-28. I'll be one of the speakers there.

I also spoke at DDS in Las Vegas last year. What I like about this conference is the emphasis on being direct and straightforward. Instead of advising you to play silly mind games with people, like coming up with inauthentic opening lines to get attention, this summit encourages you to abandon that model and be more direct in expressing your interests and desires.

If you see someone that you'd like to meet, do you have the courage to start a conversation without being fake? Can you simply walk over and say, "Hi... I saw you sitting here and thought you looked interesting. Obviously I don't know anything about you, but I'd love to sit and talk with you a little and see if we connect. What's your name?"

What are the right words that will win someone over? In reality the words don't matter as much as your general state of being. Do you feel good about yourself as a person? Do you believe you have something to offer? Do you enjoy connecting with new people?

Or do you subconsciously broadcast a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, and doubts about your worthiness? Do you fear the judgment or rejection of someone who doesn't even know you and therefore can't realistically judge you at all?

You aren't going to develop social confidence just by reading about it. Throwing words at you like "man up and just do it" will only ring hollow.

For an event like this, I'd go so far as to say that most of the value doesn't come from the information being shared. The more valuable part of such a conference is the exchange of energy, motivation, and inspiration. You'll have the chance to be around other people who are already doing what you'd like to be able to do, and being around such people is often enough to spark a change within yourself.

That's why I like speaking at these types of events. It's very rewarding to help serve as a catalyst for people's transformational breakthroughs.

At the Berlin conference, I'll be speaking about:

understanding the types of connections you desire most
accepting and owning your preferences regardless of how others might react
creating and evolving your own personal version of directness
broadcasting your desires
filtering for quality matches
creating congruence between your self-image and your behaviors

If improving your social skills is of interest to you, I encourage you to attend the Direct Dating Summit. And be sure to say hi when you see me there. :)

Berlin Meet-Up

I'm still working out the details of the Berlin meet-up with a local friend who's helping to organize it. Most likely we'll have it on April 25th in the evening. The location is still to be determined. If you're interested in this meet-up, keep an eye on my blog since I'll post the details there once I have them.

The meet-up is free. You're welcome to bring friends, family, and anyone else who's interested in meeting growth-oriented people. Just be aware that my German is limited to "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" :)

I intend to do an Amsterdam meet-up as well, which will likely be sometime in early May. Again, keep an eye on the blog for details.

Building a Foundation for Life Without a Job

I know many readers are interested in alternative ways of supporting themselves that don't require becoming corporate slaves. I've gone about 20 years without a job now, so let me share some observations and insights to help you succeed on this path.

Adopt Realistic Expectations

I've seen many people try to support themselves without a job, usually by starting a small business. They typically last 6-12 months at best and then go back to full-time employment working for someone else.

On the one hand, we could say those people gave it a good shot, and it didn't work out. But in my view, they weren't really serious about it to begin with. If they were prepared to give up during the first year, they didn't understand the level of commitment necessary for this approach to work. Almost everyone gets lousy results during that first year. What matters is whether you keep going or quit.

If you try going jobless for a year and then give it up, that's dabbling. Now there's nothing wrong with dabbling. It's fine to try something without making a true commitment to it... if you only want short-term results and don't care to build anything that lasts. I dabbled in chess. I dabbled in marathon running. I dabbled in macrobiotic cooking. Those were short-term interests. Is your interest in living without a job short-term as well, or are you wanting to follow this path for many years to come?

It's hard to succeed here with less than a full commitment. There's so much to learn and figure out. It's not as easy as it appears on the surface. The people promoting this as something fast and easy are for the most part, disingenuous. More often than not, this path is slow, plodding, and gradual.

I'd expect nearly everyone to still look like they're failing by the end of their first year... and the second.... and the third too. This is normal to see.

I lost money for my first 5 years straight. It was only in the 6th year that I finally got a positive cash-flow going. This isn't unusual.

You may be incredibly brilliant and have everything working beautifully by the end of the first year, but I'd bet against you. The first year is mostly a learning experience.

Clarify Your Desires.

Some people avoid jobs because they dislike working for someone else. Some want to generate some quick cash on the side. Those are okay motivations to get you started, but they don't have much staying power. If that's all you have going for you, I suggest you stick with a regular job.

It's important to dig deeper and get clear about why you really want to live without a job. A job can give you a stable income for a while, you may get to work on interesting projects, and with a good company you can learn a great deal. Jobs are obviously very popular. Most people don't like them, but they still come back to this solution again and again, so they must find some value in it.

If you're going to avoid having a job, then why is it? What do you want instead?

For many people the answer is some variation on freedom. There are different forms of freedom though:freedom from and freedom to. I think both are important to clarify.

Without a job you won't have a boss telling you what to do. You won't have to commute to work. You won't have a limit on your vacation time. You can be free from the hassles of traditional employment.

For many people this much is already inspiring. But on the other side, take time to consider the proactive ways in which you could use this newfound freedom. You'll have more direct control over your time. You can use that time however you see fit. While other people are going to work, you can do something entirely different.

A lot of my motivation comes from the "freedom to" side. I love traveling, and having a typical job would likely get in the way of traveling where I want to go, when I want to go, and with whom. I especially love road trips, and I don't necessarily want to pick a return date in advance. For instance, my upcoming trip to Berlin is open-ended. After the conference I'll be doing a road trip with friends through Germany and Holland, but what happens next is still unscheduled. I might pop over to the U.K. and visit London, or I might go somewhere else. I'll return to Las Vegas when I'm ready. That kind of freedom is one of my favorite benefits of being jobless.

As part of this lifestyle, I like to work when I'm inspired to work. I feel inspired often, so this approach works for me. If I'd rather be doing something else, I'll give myself full permission to do that something else instead of working. Then when I'm ready to work, I work.

What's your reason for letting go of a job? What would you want to do with your life if you knew you didn't have to show up to work for someone else each day?

If you can't come up with something that stirs your soul, don't quit your day job. The people I know who are happiest on the jobless path are generally clear about why they're doing it.

Build a Moat Around Your Work

In the beginning you may see lots of struggle and challenge when you try to go it alone. But if you stick with it and keep learning and growing and don't give up, the odds are that you'll figure it out eventually.

Many of your early actions will create lasting benefits for years to come. Every client you add, link you gain, or contact you make can still produce dividends many years later. But you lose those benefits if you cut out early. Staying power is key.

If you stick to your chosen field long enough, it gets harder to fail with each passing year. More people will be aware of your existence than when you first started. You'll have a bigger toolbox of strategies. You'll have more clients and customers. Your skills will increase. You'll have more chances for fortunate opportunities to land on your plate. And you'll be competing against people with increasingly less experience than you have, relatively speaking.

One of my goals for each business I started was to develop a big moat around my work. For this business that moat consists of my website traffic and the community that's interested in what I have to share. Individuals within this community come and go, and my level of personal engagement with them changes over time, but the community is always there in some fashion. Having such a moat makes it hard to fail. In fact, to kill my business I would basically have to drain that moat somehow; otherwise there will be too many people encouraging and supporting me on this path.

If you can build a moat around your business or lifestyle, you'll be established as a fixture in your field, and you'll find it hard to fail. But when you first start on this path, your moat is probably very small, perhaps consisting of just a few friends and family members -- an in some cases, not even that.

This moat idea applies to income as well. I still earn passive monthly commissions from business deals I set up years ago. It's hard to fail when you keep getting paid for work that was completed long ago. Even if some income sources are relatively small, they add up over time. I'm glad that instead of chasing short-term deals several years ago, I favored moat-building deals that would generate passive income year after year. That way I don't have to keep chasing new business just to pay the bills. The bills are covered by this safety net of passive income.

Now hopefully this all makes sense logically as to why it works, but I'm also suggesting that you apply this kind of strategy very deliberately. It takes time to build a solid foundation and to create a moat around your work. If you quit after a year, you won't be around long enough to see those long-term benefits add up. A year is nothing. Quitting during this time means you're taking your moat-in-progress and draining it. Then you'll have to start all over again with an empty moat. Good luck with that.

To thrive on this path, you need to balance your work intelligently. Do what you must to pay the bills in the short term, but still invest in long term moat-building strategies that may not pay off for years.

My favorite moat-building strategy is to create and give away lots of value for free. I've been doing that for years by writing and publishing free articles, and I do a lot of speaking for free as well. If you add up all the time I've spend creating and giving away content for free, you might find it ludicrous -- it would add up to many years of my life. And I was already using this approach for many years before I started blogging. The key is not to be stingy with your freebies. Give away your best ideas for free. Then challenge yourself to top them.

How you build a moat depends on your particular path. But generally it takes years to build a good moat. That's why it's unwise to quit within the first year when your moat is still just a baby. Try committing to 5 years as a minimum if you really want to make progress.

The funny thing is that once you have a strong moat, it can be hard to shake it even if you want to. I shut down my computer games business in 2006, and I still get letters from old fans, including requests to update my old games for new platforms like tablets and smart phones. Although that old moat has shrunken considerably, it's still there. This is another reason why it's important to make a committed choice. You may have to live with your moat for many years to come, possibly even for the rest of your life, so if you're going to commit, commit to a field you truly love.

The jobless path can be challenging, but it certainly has its rewards. Creating a sustainable lifestyle that you enjoy and that serves others is an achievable goal -- if you're willing to maintain a long time perspective and stick with it.