Sunday, August 19, 2012

Steve Pavlina Newsletter Issue #48 - August 17, 2012

StevePavlina.com Personal Development InsightsNewsletter

Issue #48 - August 17, 2012 - www.StevePavlina.com

Passive Income Series Update

I've been continuing the passive income series in the blog, which began with this post in April. I'm currently in Edmonton, Alberta for the Fringe Festival through the end of the month, and when I return to Las Vegas, I'll begin the walkthrough that shows you how I create and launch a new passive income stream from start to finish.

Free Bonus Collection from Morty Lefkoe

Morty Lefkoe, whose programs to permanently eliminate limiting beliefs have been very popular with StevePavlina.com readers (see my review here), is currently offering an extra free bonus to help people who are following my passive income series.

When you get his Natural Confidence program, which will help you eliminate negative beliefs which cause you to lack confidence, you'll also get a free copy of Morty's "Bust Your Money Beliefs" program. This will help you identify and release 5 common beliefs about money that keep you from experiencing the financial abundance you desire.

For details and to take advantage of this offer from Morty, go to Natural Confidence with Free Bonus.

Meditationfest - Free Online Event

The Ultimate You Mindfest that I mentioned in some previous newsletters was so well-received that Learning Strategies is hosting another free online event. This one focuses on meditation and is appropriately namedMeditationfest.

The format is similar to the previous Mindfest except that instead of having one teacher all the way through, the Meditationfest features 7 different meditation experts. Each one will share a different style of meditation with you, and each meditation includes a 25-60 minute lesson to help you understand the meditation and its benefits.

I've been meditating for more than 20 years now and have learned many different styles. The nice thing about learning other styles is that it encourages you to improvise and create your own personal meditations. I shared one of my favorites in this blog post from 2005.

So far I've enjoyed live meditation experiences with 4 of the 7 teachers in this program (5 if you count audio recordings), so I know it's going to be good.

If you're new to meditation, then this should be a really nice introduction. If you have more experience, then it will expose you to other styles you may not have tried before.

The Meditationfest is totally free, so it won't cost you anything, although you can buy the recordings afterwards if you want them. It officially begins on September 10th, and when you register for it, you'll receive your first meditation right away. Then you'll get an email reminder when the event kicks off and the other sessions are available. They also have some pretty nice prizes you could win.

Visit the Meditationfest website to sign up and get started. I'm already signed up. :)

Are You Stuck in Pause?

Pick a number between 1 and 100. Please don't continue reading until you have your number.

Do you have your number? Good.

Notice how easy it was to make such a choice. You had 100 different options (assuming you picked an inclusive integer), and yet you didn't even have to hesitate. Most likely your selection just popped into your mind automatically. Your subconscious probably made the choice for you.

You probably figured that one number was as good as any other. So you made the choice quickly and moved on to continue reading.

But you didn't have to do that. You could have taken much more time to make this decision. You could have pondered all the different options by writing a list of those 100 possibilities. You could have defined some criteria for selecting the very best number. You could have made a top 10 list of potential candidates, then narrowed it to your top 3, and finally selected a winner.

You could have sought the advice of a friend or relative to help you make the choice. What number should I choose? Why should I go with 51 and not 95? Shouldn't I give 17 another look?

In other words, you could have made this decision a lot more complicated than you did.

So why didn't you? Why didn't you pause to reflect on this decision much further?

We could say that the decision didn't matter much to you. You didn't have a reason to pause and reflect and make a more careful choice.

But another way of looking at this is that if you accepted what I said at the beginning of this article, then you probably didn't feel good about continuing to read until you picked a number. If you vacillated over your choice, you'd have to stop reading to do so, and the article would remain unread.

And you probably figured that this article might contain enough value for you to be worth reading, so you didn't want to slow down and get stuck for something as trivial as picking a number.

Well, you made the right choice. The number you picked doesn't matter at all. But by choosing a number, you're free to read the rest of the article. There's no value in picking your number, but there may be value for you in what comes after that. You understood that it's better to keep moving than to get stuck at a decision point, and of course you were right about that. It is indeed better to keep moving.

Now consider what happens when you pause to reflect on a choice elsewhere in your life. When you do this, you essentially put this part of your life on hold. You can't progress further until you make that choice. You're stuck in limbo. You've turned off the flow.

What if the choice seems really big and important? What if you're deciding whether to leave a long-term relationship or whether to quit your job and pursue a whole new career? Surely you have to pause and reflect at some points.

Regardless of the apparent magnitude of the choice, the effect is still the same. Until you decide one way or another, you've put that part of your life on hold. It's just like being stuck in the first paragraph of this article, not being able to read beyond it till you pick a number.

When you pause some part of your life like this, you halt the flow in that area, and you constrict the flow in your life overall. Since you haven't made a choice one way or another, you're holding everything up. You're like a poker player who can't decide whether to call, raise, or fold. The whole game gets paused for all players until you decide, with the other players trying to be patient at first, then impatient, then annoyed that you're holding up the game. Eventually someone will ask to put the clock on you, thereby increasing the pressure for you to decide and forcing a default decision if you don't.

Is any part of your life currently stuck on pause? Are you frozen in ambivalence, not having made a real decision yet? Are you essentially wait for life to "put the clock on you" and make the decision for you?

Many people play this waiting game. They get stuck in pause mode for so long that life eventually must decide for them. Their spouse finally quits the paused relationship. Their company finally lays them off for being too mediocre for too long. Or they discover they have a serious medical condition after years of putting their health habits on pause.

I understand and acknowledge that some decisions seem a lot more important than others. But there's a difference between actively deciding and being stuck in pause mode. When you decide, you're using some process that you seriously believe will move you towards a resolution. This process could be as simple as a random choice, or it could involve reading, researching, talking to others, and carefully weighing options. But the key is that at some point, this decision-making process must end with an actual decision, followed by acting on that decision.

I've fallen into the trap of putting some part of my life on pause numerous times. It's often difficult to recognize when I've done this. Almost always the pause button was pressed to avoid dealing with some kind of fear or resistance to what might happen if I make a real decision. Maybe I'm trying not to hurt someone. Perhaps I don't want to take a particular risk.

Consciously choosing to maintain the status quo isn't the same as having the status quo continue simply because you're in pause mode. Consciously choosing to be in your current relationship is much different than merely allowing it to self-perpetuate when you're unsure about breaking up.

One of the great privileges of life is your freedom to choose. Don't surrender this gift just because you face some challenging decisions. If you keep hitting pause, life will pass you by in the most boring and uninteresting ways, and you'll eventually wonder where all the time went.

Instead of being stuck in perpetual pause mode, un-pause these stuck areas of your life, and get moving forward again. Make a decision today, and start taking action on it.

Even if you make what seems to be a poor decision, that's still better than remaining stuck in everlasting pause mode. If you keep flowing forward with real decisions and real action, you're going to learn a great deal. Your decisions will become smarter, and your actions will produce more desirable results as you gain wisdom. You don't gain much wisdom while life is paused.

Sometimes even the most difficult decisions can be made rather quickly. For more on this, see the articleHow to Make Smart Decisions in Less Than 60 Seconds.

How do you escape pause mode? You do this by finally making a decision, just as you chose a number at the start of this article. The reason to make a decision is that pause mode is boring and stagnating. You can only get to the good parts of life when you leave pause mode and enter action mode once again. It's the knowledge that life is only interesting, rewarding, and fulfilling when you're in motion that can motivate you to finally leave the dead and lifeless limbo of pause mode.

You chose a number because you didn't want that decision to prevent you from reading the rest of this article. It wouldn't have made any sense to get stuck in the first paragraph. Similarly, it doesn't make any sense to keep some part of your life stuck in pause. Fascinating, worthwhile, and deeply rewarding parts of life await you. They're meant to be lived and experienced, not feared and avoided.

You're here to learn, explore, and grow. Surely you know that by now. The wondrous flow of your life comes to a screeching halt when you enter pause mode. It's understandable that you may have had your reasons for doing this, but if your ultimate reason boils down to fear, that's not a good enough reason for staying stuck. You can be afraid and still decide and still move forward. People do this every day.

If you allow yourself to remain stuck in pause mode, eventually you'll regret it. You see... life has already put the clock on you while you're waiting. It's counting down the seconds till your life ends. If you don't get out of pause mode now, you're being robbed and cheated. Your precious life is being stolen from you minute by minute. Don't lose another day to this thief of life. If you can decide now, then decide now. Worst case, flip a coin.

What's the opposite of the pause button? It's the play button. When you're stuck in pause, you're missing out on so many playful, joyful, fulfilling moments that life has to offer.

Remaining stuck in pause is essentially the same as choosing death. And that, of course, is a very weak choice. Death will happen anyway. There's no need to run down the clock and hasten its arrival.

When death finally comes, let it catch you living. Press play!

Please follow me on Twitter and Google+ for inspirational messages and quick updates.

Steve Recommends

Here are my recommendations for products and services that I've personally reviewed and which I believe can help you on your personal growth journey. This is a very short list since it only includes my top picks.

Getting Rich with Ebooks - Earn passive income from ebooks.
Site Build It! - Build an income-generating website.
Lefkoe Method - Permanently eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes.
Sedona Method - Free Audio - Learn to release blocks in a few minutes
Paraliminals - Accelerate your personal growth.
The Journal - Keep a secure journal on your PC.
PhotoReading - Read books 3x faster.
Life on Purpose - Discover your life purpose.

Until next time, live consciously!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Steve Pavlina Newsletter #47 - July 18, 2012

StevePavlina.com Personal Development InsightsNewsletter

Issue #47 - July 18, 2012 - http://www.stevepavlina.com/

"How to Create Passive Income" Blog Series Continues...

The passive income series that I've been blogging is up to 22 posts now. So far we have the following articles in this series:

Soon I'll begin the walkthrough portion, where I'll take you step by step through the process of creating a new stream of passive income from start to finish.

Whether you're following the passive income series or not, I think you'll especially find the article onDissolving Limiting Beliefs helpful. At the end of that article, there's a link where you can try Morty Lefkoe's process to permanently eliminate a limiting belief for free.

Workshop Update

I'm sad to report that our October workshop plans fell through. We had agreed on most of the details with the Flamingo Hotel, and I expected this deal would close easily since we'd already done 4 previous workshops with them. But for some strange reason, their sales rep insisted on inserting new language into our agreement that was unacceptable to me. It would have added a major loophole allowing them to pad our final bill however they saw fit, and it didn't agree with what they were telling me via email. I'd have been happy to do more business with them since all of our previous workshops there went very well, but I'm not willing to invite potential billing headaches down the road to make it happen. When I told them I couldn't sign the agreement with the new language due to the problems it could create down the road, the sales rep insisted that their legal department wouldn't allow changes to it.

Given that their business is down in this economy, you might think they'd welcome repeat business from a low-maintenance client who always pays on time and has brought hundreds of paying guests to their hotel. Perhaps this is a case of bureaucracy getting in the way of common sense.

In any event, I'm still interested in doing more workshops, but it will be tough to schedule another one this year now due to timing issues. It takes a while to make the proper arrangements with a hotel, and I like to give attendees at least 3 months advance notice. I'm open to doing workshops in other cities, so maybe this is a sign that it's time to broaden my horizons and go beyond Las Vegas.

I'll be sure to keep you posted on further workshop developments...

Free Audios

Hale Dwoskin, author of The Sedona Method and one of the teachers from the movie The Secret, has created three free audios to share with you. You can play them straight from your web browser, cell phone, iPad, etc., or you can download them as MP3s. Each audio is about 20 minutes in duration.

These free audios will teach you some simple techniques for releasing blocks to success, achieving your goals, living your life purpose, and enjoying harmonious relationships.

The free audios can be found here: StevePavlina.com/sedona-method

You may find value in listening to these more than once, so I encourage you to download and save copies to your favorite digital device, so you can listen to them whenever you want. Free free to share the link with others as well.

If you like the free audios and wish to explore the Sedona Method in more depth, I invite you to check out Hale's Sedona Method Supercourse, which is a 20-CD collection of his live seminar recordings. I'm going through this course myself, and I'm currently about 2/3 of the way through it. This course, coupled with a recent phone call with Hale, has helped me make many useful distinctions.

If you're interested in the full course, we’ve set it up so you can get the Sedona Method Supercourse for a46% discount off the regular price. There’s also a free 6-minute video from Hale on that page that will give you more details about the Sedona Method.

Developing Your Character

In case you haven't heard the news, Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, passed away on Monday at age 79. I shared the details in a short blog post this week. He will definitely be missed.

Covey's books were some of my early reads when I first became interested in personal growth. In this article I'll share some insights on character building, partly from the influence of character-based books like the 7 Habits and partly from past experience.

The Consequences of a Weak Character

I didn't think much about character development until the lack of it became a serious problem for me. In my late teens, I would lie, cheat, and steal if I felt it would benefit me in some way. At first this was simply a lot of fun, and I had no qualms about living this way, but over time I could see that it was leading me in a very self-destructive direction.

In my first run at college, I used to hang out in the UC Berkeley computer lab on the night before programming assignments were due. I'd stand by the shared printer, and when a student's completed assignment rolled off the machine, I'd quickly snag it before the student got up from his/her workstation to retrieve it. These were just print-outs of computer code, so there were never any names on the pages. I'd write my name at the top and turn it in as my own the next day. This only took minutes and saved me hours of work. I completed most of the assignments this way and ended up getting a B+ in the class. With about 500 students in the class, I doubted there was much chance of getting caught. I never got caught.

When I had a chemistry midterm come up that same semester, I played poker while other students studied hard for it. I also ditched many classes. Then I prayed that the midterm would somehow be canceled. And much to my surprise, when I was getting ready to leave to take the exam, the Bay Area was struck by the Loma Prieta Earthquake at 5:04pm. I believe the midterm was scheduled for 5:30pm. The buildings on campus had to be inspected for damage, so the midterm was postponed. I crammed for it and and somehow passed. I ended up passing the class with a C+. If not for that timely earthquake, I might not have passed.

I could have excelled in these classes, but I became very lazy and did the absolute minimum to squeak by. Soon I began doing less than the minimum and eventually got expelled. It seemed that with each passing month, I was developing more of a something-for-nothing mentality. I spent more time drinking and playing poker than I did going to class. Most weeks I committed at least a few crimes; when I got caught, I took a few weeks off and then picked up where I left off.

A Character Building Environment

Only a year earlier, I had graduated with honors from high school, acing my classes all the way through. Everyone thought I had a bright future. I was accepted into many quality universities, some with scholarships.

When I was in high school -- a private Jesuit school -- there was a lot of emphasis on character development and morality. It was an all boys school, and each of us were taught to become "a man for others." It was a very disciplined environment. During my entire 4 years of high school, I witnessed only one fight, and I'm pretty sure those students were promptly expelled. I never saw any evidence of people bringing weapons or drugs to school. It was a very clean place with a hardcore focus on academics.

Because the whole campus supported this focus, it was easy to buy into it. It paid off for the students and teachers alike. Our teachers maintained excellent discipline in their classes, with students rarely talking out of turn. In this disciplined environment, we were able to learn a great deal without getting distracted. Teachers were treated with respect, largely because they were competent and deserved it.

The central theme that bound all of this together was our shared religion. All of the character and moral teachings were rooted there.

As I matured I began to question the religion part, eventually rejecting it as something that couldn't possibly be true. And so along with that, I uprooted all of the character-based teachings that were piled on top of the religious ones. If I was going to doubt the roots, I had to doubt the branches as well.

When I entered college as a newly minted atheist, I found myself free of any character code. At the time I was often reminded of a Mark Twain short story I'd read called “The Facts Concerning the Recent Carnival of Crime in Connecticut,” which is about a guy who kills his conscience and becomes free to do as he pleases. (You can download that story for free here.)

Freedom vs. Responsibility

Initially I found this way of living immensely liberating. I had no more sense of right and wrong other that what felt good in the moment. Other people seemed very stiff relative to the options I had available.

Over time I learned that society very much frowns on living this way. After several arrests and being expelled from school, I could see that my future was becoming bleaker. This is no way to live, I sadly concluded.

Turning back towards religion wasn't an option for me, but I could see the good in the character-based aspects. So I set out to study character development outside the bounds of religion.

Around that time I read Covey's 7 Habits book. He got me thinking about character development in a new way. For him it probably sprung from religion as well, but his book gave me a start in thinking about character development in more humanistic terms. Covey explained that certain character attributes were simply more effective for getting along in the world. They consistently produce better results than the alternatives.

This was easy for me to accept since I had the opportunity to see how my underlying character affected my results in life. When I was disciplined, I did very well in school, embraced leadership roles like President of the Math Club and Captain of the Academic Decathlon team. I had strong bonds with intelligent friends. When I let my disciplined slide, I got to see the inside of some jail cells. I still had many friends, but few of them trusted me.

I set about character building almost like I was developing myself as a character in a role-playing game. What attributes will I choose to develop?

At first I focused on conformity for several months because I needed to stop getting into trouble before I could advance any further. So when I felt tempted to do something reckless, I would ask myself, This could be fun, but would a normal person do this? If the answer was no, I did my best to put a leash on those impulses. Usually I succeeded.

Conscious Character Building

When I felt ready, I began searching for character attributes that mattered to me. I had a lot of courage, but I felt it wise to temper it with a sense of honor. Doing my best, even when other people weren't, was another quality I sought to develop. Embracing challenge also resonated with me. And soon, honesty became immensely important to me.

The core of this whole model was that I spent a lot of time asking and answering the question, What kind of man do I wish to become?

My past experiences taught me that my character was pliable. I didn't have to settle for the current status quo. I could make changes to my character, which would have a major effect on my results in life. But instead of merely backtracking from the results, I focused on the kind of man I wanted to become on the inside. I figured that if I really liked myself on the inside, then intelligent actions would flow out of me, and positive results would follow.

How to Develop Your Character

Think about the character qualities you consider ideal. What kind of man or woman inspires you most? What is it about those people that inspires you?

Brainstorm a list of character qualities you might like to develop. For help generating ideas, feel free to use this list of values. You can copy and paste it into a word processing document and whittle it down to those core qualities that you feel are the most significant.

Post your list somewhere you'll see it often. If you have a smart phone, type your list into a note-taking application, so you'll always have it with you.

My friend Darren LaCroix has small wood carvings of words that inspire him placed throughout his home, so whatever room he's in, one of those values is always visible to him.

Another thing you can do is memorize your list. If you sing your list to yourself, you'll find it easy to memorize, and then you'll find yourself automatically singing it in your head at certain times, like while standing in line somewhere. This will remind you to do your best to become the man or woman who exudes those character qualities.

When he was 20 years old, Benjamin Franklin wrote out a list of character qualities to develop in himself. He had 13 of them:

Temperance - Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
Silence - Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
Order - Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
Resolution - Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
Frugality - Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.
Industry - Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
Sincerity - Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and if you speak, speak accordingly.
Justice - Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
Moderation - Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Cleanliness - Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
Tranquility - Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
Chastity - Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
Humility - Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Instead of trying to work on every attribute at the same time, Franklin would cycle through them, picking only one quality to focus on each week while "leaving all others to their ordinary chance." He still evaluated his progress for all of these attributes, but he focused on improving one attribute at a time.

In his autobiography, Franklin spent a significant number of pages going over the details of this plan. He admitted that he fell short much of the time but that the pursuit made him a better, more successful, and happier man. (You can download his autobiography for free here.)

Character development isn't easy, but it pays long-term dividends. If you can become a little more honorable, this alone could prevent major problems in your relationships and career, and it will surely boost your self-esteem. If you can become a little more disciplined, you can get out of debt and enjoy more abundance in life. If you can become a little more peaceful, you'll serve as a relaxing influence on others, helping to alleviate stress and fostering good health wherever you go.

I encourage you to give serious thought to how you've been developing your character. Are you doing this consciously and with good care, or are you allowing influences like television and social media to passively shape who you are? Do you like yourself as you are right now?

The more you strive to become the man or woman you most desire to be, the more consciously you're living. Even if you fall short of your ideals, the pursuit is a reward unto itself.

Please follow me on Twitter and Google+ for inspirational messages and quick updates.

Steve Recommends

Getting Rich with Ebooks - Earn passive income from ebooks.
Sedona Method - Free Audio - Learn to release blocks in a few minutes
Site Build It! - Build an income-generating website.
Lefkoe Method - Permanently eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes.
Paraliminals - Accelerate your personal growth.
The Journal - Keep a secure journal on your PC.
PhotoReading - Read books 3x faster.
Life on Purpose - Discover your life purpose.

Until next time, live consciously!

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