Steve Pavlina Newsletter #54 - April 17, 2013

StevePavlina.com Personal Development InsightsNewsletter

Issue #54 - April 17, 2013 - www.StevePavlina.com

In this issue I have lots of free stuff to share with you...

Food Revolution Summit - Free

When I was a kid and my Mom would take my siblings and me to the local shopping mall, she'd bribe us with an offer of an ice cream cone from Baskin-Robbins if we'd behave ourselves. So if we acted like monkeys in the stores, we wouldn't get any ice cream on the way back to the car. Most of the time, sometimes with a large amount of begging and pleading, we were able to get our cones.

Many years later I began learning about the long-term consequences of eating junk food -- on the body and particularly the brain. In my early 20s, I decided to upgrade my diet. I went vegetarian first, then 100% vegan several years later. With each change I felt less mentally foggy. I could concentrate more easily and think more clearly. It's been about 20 years since I've eaten animal flesh and more than 16 years since I've had any animal products at all, including ice cream. I don't miss any of it.

As it so happens, John Robbins (son of Irv Robbins, one of Baskin-Robbins' co-founders) decided to walk away from his father's ice cream empire. Instead of devoting his life to selling junk food, he became a spokesman for nutritious food, healthy people, and a sustainable planet. He opted for a greater purpose in life.

John Robbins is the bestselling author of some of my favorite books on health and sustainability, includingDiet for a New America, which was one of the first books I read on how our dietary choices impact our bodies and the planet as a whole.

I've never met John, but I had the chance to hang out with his son Ocean for several days last year when we were at a retreat together. Ocean and I became fast friends and have stayed in touch. Ocean and his Dad work closely together, and the two of them are passionate about creating a healthier and more sustainable planet, a cause I support. I told Ocean I wanted to help spread the word about any cool projects that might be of interest to my readers. Here's one of them...

From April 27 to May 5, Ocean and John Robbins are hosting a free online event called the Food Revolution Summit.

In this summit John interviews 24 leading voices in the movement for a healthier and more sustainable planet. The list of experts includes Andrew Kimbrell, Brenda Davis, Mayor Cory Booker, Dr. Dean Ornish, Dolores Huerta, Jeffrey Smith, Dr. Joel Fuhrman, Kathy Freston, Ken Cook, Kris Carr, Mark Bittman, Dr. Mark Hyman, Michael Bernard Beckwith, Dr. Michael Klaper, Mike Adams, Dr. Neal Barnard, Rip Esselstyn, Robyn O'Brien, Russell Simmons, Seane Corn, Thom Hartmann, Dr. Vandana Shiva, Will Potter, and Zoe Weil.

Here are some of the topics covered by the summit:

• How to prevent companies like Monsanto from destroying your health and the health of the planet
• What should you really be eating for the best health, energy, and mental clarity?
• How to prevent and even reverse heart disease without drugs, surgery, or excessive exercise
• What's the real truth about soy? Is it a healthy food or something to be avoided?
• How to determine if you're allergic to certain foods
• Are organic foods worth the extra cost?
• What can you realistically do to make a difference in the health and sustainability of the planet?
• ... and many other topics

If you'd like to get started, visit the Food Revolution Summit to sign up now. Again, it's totally free. There's a free bonus when you sign up too.

Please help spread the word about this summit if you can. The more people who invest in our long-term health and sustainability, the better.

Diamond Feng Shui Fest - Free

Learning Strategies is hosting another free Mindfest starting on April 29. This one is on the topic of feng shui, which I'd describe as the practice of cultivating a positive and supportive relationship with your environment, especially with your living space and workspace.

I didn't know much about feng shui until I started experimenting with it in 2005. I was skeptical about it, but it seemed harmless enough, so I took a few minutes to put together a little wealth shrine in my home -- a symbolic way of inviting more abundance into my life. I didn't expect much from it, but to my surprise more money starting flowing into my life almost immediately. I shared the details in a 2005 blog post calledQuestioning Your Beliefs.

I don't necessarily buy into the idea that chi (life energy) is flowing throughout my home. That said, I do like the general idea behind feng shui, which is to create a space that stimulates positive feelings.

Another thing I like about feng shui is that the ideas are easy to test. Since the practice of feng shui can yield a more organized, less cluttered, and less stressful environment, I find it easy to be open-minded about it.

You've probably been in environments that were designed with feng shui principles in mind. Perhaps you've noticed that you feel very relaxed and comfortable in certain places. The location, the color scheme, and the balance of objects help you feel at ease. There's a good chance that whoever designed those spaces put some thought into feng shui.

In this free online program, you can learn how to make simple changes to your home and workspace to create a similar effect, so your space will support whatever feelings you desire, such as relaxation and comfort, motivation and inspiration, or drive and ambition.

If this interests you, here's the link to sign up: Diamond Feng Shui Fest. Again, it's totally free.

Direct Dating Summit - Berlin

If you live in or near Berlin and you're a guy who's interested in improving your dating and relationship skills as well as your general confidence, I invite you to attend the Direct Dating Summit, April 27-28. I'll be one of the speakers there.

I also spoke at DDS in Las Vegas last year. What I like about this conference is the emphasis on being direct and straightforward. Instead of advising you to play silly mind games with people, like coming up with inauthentic opening lines to get attention, this summit encourages you to abandon that model and be more direct in expressing your interests and desires.

If you see someone that you'd like to meet, do you have the courage to start a conversation without being fake? Can you simply walk over and say, "Hi... I saw you sitting here and thought you looked interesting. Obviously I don't know anything about you, but I'd love to sit and talk with you a little and see if we connect. What's your name?"

What are the right words that will win someone over? In reality the words don't matter as much as your general state of being. Do you feel good about yourself as a person? Do you believe you have something to offer? Do you enjoy connecting with new people?

Or do you subconsciously broadcast a lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, and doubts about your worthiness? Do you fear the judgment or rejection of someone who doesn't even know you and therefore can't realistically judge you at all?

You aren't going to develop social confidence just by reading about it. Throwing words at you like "man up and just do it" will only ring hollow.

For an event like this, I'd go so far as to say that most of the value doesn't come from the information being shared. The more valuable part of such a conference is the exchange of energy, motivation, and inspiration. You'll have the chance to be around other people who are already doing what you'd like to be able to do, and being around such people is often enough to spark a change within yourself.

That's why I like speaking at these types of events. It's very rewarding to help serve as a catalyst for people's transformational breakthroughs.

At the Berlin conference, I'll be speaking about:

• understanding the types of connections you desire most
• accepting and owning your preferences regardless of how others might react
• creating and evolving your own personal version of directness
• broadcasting your desires
• filtering for quality matches
• creating congruence between your self-image and your behaviors

If improving your social skills is of interest to you, I encourage you to attend the Direct Dating Summit. And be sure to say hi when you see me there. :)

Berlin Meet-Up

I'm still working out the details of the Berlin meet-up with a local friend who's helping to organize it. Most likely we'll have it on April 25th in the evening. The location is still to be determined. If you're interested in this meet-up, keep an eye on my blog since I'll post the details there once I have them.

The meet-up is free. You're welcome to bring friends, family, and anyone else who's interested in meeting growth-oriented people. Just be aware that my German is limited to "Sprechen Sie Englisch?" :)

I intend to do an Amsterdam meet-up as well, which will likely be sometime in early May. Again, keep an eye on the blog for details.

Building a Foundation for Life Without a Job

I know many readers are interested in alternative ways of supporting themselves that don't require becoming corporate slaves. I've gone about 20 years without a job now, so let me share some observations and insights to help you succeed on this path.

Adopt Realistic Expectations

I've seen many people try to support themselves without a job, usually by starting a small business. They typically last 6-12 months at best and then go back to full-time employment working for someone else.

On the one hand, we could say those people gave it a good shot, and it didn't work out. But in my view, they weren't really serious about it to begin with. If they were prepared to give up during the first year, they didn't understand the level of commitment necessary for this approach to work. Almost everyone gets lousy results during that first year. What matters is whether you keep going or quit.

If you try going jobless for a year and then give it up, that's dabbling. Now there's nothing wrong with dabbling. It's fine to try something without making a true commitment to it... if you only want short-term results and don't care to build anything that lasts. I dabbled in chess. I dabbled in marathon running. I dabbled in macrobiotic cooking. Those were short-term interests. Is your interest in living without a job short-term as well, or are you wanting to follow this path for many years to come?

It's hard to succeed here with less than a full commitment. There's so much to learn and figure out. It's not as easy as it appears on the surface. The people promoting this as something fast and easy are for the most part, disingenuous. More often than not, this path is slow, plodding, and gradual.

I'd expect nearly everyone to still look like they're failing by the end of their first year... and the second.... and the third too. This is normal to see.

I lost money for my first 5 years straight. It was only in the 6th year that I finally got a positive cash-flow going. This isn't unusual.

You may be incredibly brilliant and have everything working beautifully by the end of the first year, but I'd bet against you. The first year is mostly a learning experience.

Clarify Your Desires.

Some people avoid jobs because they dislike working for someone else. Some want to generate some quick cash on the side. Those are okay motivations to get you started, but they don't have much staying power. If that's all you have going for you, I suggest you stick with a regular job.

It's important to dig deeper and get clear about why you really want to live without a job. A job can give you a stable income for a while, you may get to work on interesting projects, and with a good company you can learn a great deal. Jobs are obviously very popular. Most people don't like them, but they still come back to this solution again and again, so they must find some value in it.

If you're going to avoid having a job, then why is it? What do you want instead?

For many people the answer is some variation on freedom. There are different forms of freedom though:freedom from and freedom to. I think both are important to clarify.

Without a job you won't have a boss telling you what to do. You won't have to commute to work. You won't have a limit on your vacation time. You can be free from the hassles of traditional employment.

For many people this much is already inspiring. But on the other side, take time to consider the proactive ways in which you could use this newfound freedom. You'll have more direct control over your time. You can use that time however you see fit. While other people are going to work, you can do something entirely different.

A lot of my motivation comes from the "freedom to" side. I love traveling, and having a typical job would likely get in the way of traveling where I want to go, when I want to go, and with whom. I especially love road trips, and I don't necessarily want to pick a return date in advance. For instance, my upcoming trip to Berlin is open-ended. After the conference I'll be doing a road trip with friends through Germany and Holland, but what happens next is still unscheduled. I might pop over to the U.K. and visit London, or I might go somewhere else. I'll return to Las Vegas when I'm ready. That kind of freedom is one of my favorite benefits of being jobless.

As part of this lifestyle, I like to work when I'm inspired to work. I feel inspired often, so this approach works for me. If I'd rather be doing something else, I'll give myself full permission to do that something else instead of working. Then when I'm ready to work, I work.

What's your reason for letting go of a job? What would you want to do with your life if you knew you didn't have to show up to work for someone else each day?

If you can't come up with something that stirs your soul, don't quit your day job. The people I know who are happiest on the jobless path are generally clear about why they're doing it.

Build a Moat Around Your Work

In the beginning you may see lots of struggle and challenge when you try to go it alone. But if you stick with it and keep learning and growing and don't give up, the odds are that you'll figure it out eventually.

Many of your early actions will create lasting benefits for years to come. Every client you add, link you gain, or contact you make can still produce dividends many years later. But you lose those benefits if you cut out early. Staying power is key.

If you stick to your chosen field long enough, it gets harder to fail with each passing year. More people will be aware of your existence than when you first started. You'll have a bigger toolbox of strategies. You'll have more clients and customers. Your skills will increase. You'll have more chances for fortunate opportunities to land on your plate. And you'll be competing against people with increasingly less experience than you have, relatively speaking.

One of my goals for each business I started was to develop a big moat around my work. For this business that moat consists of my website traffic and the community that's interested in what I have to share. Individuals within this community come and go, and my level of personal engagement with them changes over time, but the community is always there in some fashion. Having such a moat makes it hard to fail. In fact, to kill my business I would basically have to drain that moat somehow; otherwise there will be too many people encouraging and supporting me on this path.

If you can build a moat around your business or lifestyle, you'll be established as a fixture in your field, and you'll find it hard to fail. But when you first start on this path, your moat is probably very small, perhaps consisting of just a few friends and family members -- an in some cases, not even that.

This moat idea applies to income as well. I still earn passive monthly commissions from business deals I set up years ago. It's hard to fail when you keep getting paid for work that was completed long ago. Even if some income sources are relatively small, they add up over time. I'm glad that instead of chasing short-term deals several years ago, I favored moat-building deals that would generate passive income year after year. That way I don't have to keep chasing new business just to pay the bills. The bills are covered by this safety net of passive income.

Now hopefully this all makes sense logically as to why it works, but I'm also suggesting that you apply this kind of strategy very deliberately. It takes time to build a solid foundation and to create a moat around your work. If you quit after a year, you won't be around long enough to see those long-term benefits add up. A year is nothing. Quitting during this time means you're taking your moat-in-progress and draining it. Then you'll have to start all over again with an empty moat. Good luck with that.

To thrive on this path, you need to balance your work intelligently. Do what you must to pay the bills in the short term, but still invest in long term moat-building strategies that may not pay off for years.

My favorite moat-building strategy is to create and give away lots of value for free. I've been doing that for years by writing and publishing free articles, and I do a lot of speaking for free as well. If you add up all the time I've spend creating and giving away content for free, you might find it ludicrous -- it would add up to many years of my life. And I was already using this approach for many years before I started blogging. The key is not to be stingy with your freebies. Give away your best ideas for free. Then challenge yourself to top them.

How you build a moat depends on your particular path. But generally it takes years to build a good moat. That's why it's unwise to quit within the first year when your moat is still just a baby. Try committing to 5 years as a minimum if you really want to make progress.

The funny thing is that once you have a strong moat, it can be hard to shake it even if you want to. I shut down my computer games business in 2006, and I still get letters from old fans, including requests to update my old games for new platforms like tablets and smart phones. Although that old moat has shrunken considerably, it's still there. This is another reason why it's important to make a committed choice. You may have to live with your moat for many years to come, possibly even for the rest of your life, so if you're going to commit, commit to a field you truly love.

The jobless path can be challenging, but it certainly has its rewards. Creating a sustainable lifestyle that you enjoy and that serves others is an achievable goal -- if you're willing to maintain a long time perspective and stick with it.