Tuesday, December 9, 2014

StevePavlina.com Personal Development Insights Newsletter Issue #65 - November 28, 2014

Imaginary Men (New Audio Program)

Last week I announced the release of a brand new audio program called Imaginary Men -- nine hours of material that I recorded with several coaches over the course of three days in Santa Barbara, California.

One unusual aspect of this program is that everything we shared -- growth lessons, stories, and embarrassing moments -- was shared spontaneously with no pre-planned material. Our intention was to explore and discuss insights about personal growth and relationships that you would enjoy and appreciate. With six people in the discussion, all with different backgrounds and experiences, this format gives you a unique opportunity to explore with us -- something that isn't possible with a one-sided lecture.

It's been gratifying to read the delightful feedback from people who've been listening to Imaginary Men and enjoying it this past week. I've been especially pleased to see that so many women are buying and downloading it.

Although Imaginary Men was created by a group of men (hence the title), I'd naturally expect that many women would love to hear what we shared, especially since we talked in depth about our relationship experiences, mistakes we've made, and how we find growth-oriented partners. There were no women in the room when we made these recordings, so we felt free to be very candid.

If a group of six growth-oriented women got together to discuss their relationship lessons and experiences with men, I'd certainly be interested in hearing what they had to say, especially if there were no men present while the recordings were made.

In addition to the audio content, we also included several video bonuses. One bonus seems to be especially popular -- it explores ways to overcome social anxiety and to become more socially confident.

I've shared more details about Imaginary Men on my blog, so I'll refer you there to learn more. Or you can visit the Imaginary Men website to download your copy and start listening.

Sonic Access Mindfest - Free Online Event Starts Dec 1st

Learning Strategies and Paul Scheele are hosting another Mindfest that you can listen to online, and like their previous Mindfests, it's completely free.

This one is called the Sonic Access Mindfest. It combines transformational music with Paraliminal technology for a very relaxing approach to personal growth.

Here are the schedule and session descriptions, provided by Learning Strategies:

Sonic Access Introduction
Day 1 - Monday, December 1
During the first day of the Sonic Access Mindfest, you will discover how ancient civilizations used the remarkable healing power of sound vibrations. You will also see how you can tap into your body's complex energy field to align your personal intentions and manifest your goals.

Sonic Access for Success - Paraliminal
Day 2 - Tuesday, December 2
On Day Two, you begin using "Paraliminal" sessions designed for this program. If you haven't experienced a Paraliminal, you are in for a pleasurable treat. During this session you will focus on the success you desire to create in your life. You will ask yourself "How would I choose to live if I knew I could not fail?" This is your opportunity to manifest your greatest reality!

Sonic Access for Health - Paraliminal
Day 3 - Wednesday, December 3
During Day Three, your focus will shift from success to your health. Before the session, think of an important health goal for yourself. It might be something like "I choose to eat healthful foods and exercise at least three times a week." "I choose to heal pain in my body." "I choose to balance my emotions."

Sonic Access for Relationships - Paraliminal
Day 4 - Thursday, December 4
With today's special Paraliminal session, you will dissolve emotional and spiritual blocks to free yourself from fear, anger, and resentment so that you enjoy positive and loving relationships. This is a perfect day to boost your relationship with your partner, or anyone important to you, even a difficult person that is front and center in your life.

Sonic Access for Spiritual Growth
Day 5 - Friday, December 5
On the final day of the Sonic Access Mindfest, you will access powerful frequencies to align your body's energy system and for your spiritual growth.

Get free access to the Mindfest here: Sonic Access Mindfest

If you need any help getting access to the Mindfest, just drop an email toinfo@learningstrategies.com, and they'll be happy to walk you through it.

Enjoy!

Lifestyle Design Convention - January 10-11, 2015

I'll be speaking at the Lifestyle Design Convention in January in Zurich, Switzerland. I welcome you to attend if the location is accessible for you.

Organized by Kai Christen, this two-day event brings together a variety of speakers to share their wisdom, lessons, and how-to knowledge about lifestyle design. I'm especially interested in hearing what the other speakers have to say since Rachelle and I are both embarking on a major lifestyle transition. As I shared in my blog last week, we're massively downsizing our possessions, and next year we intend to go nomadic and travel around the world continuously.

If you visit the Lifestyle Design Convention website, you can also watch a short video interview that Kai and I did a while back.

Tickets for this event will increase in price after Nov 30th, so this would be a good time to sign up if you're interested in exploring lifestyle design with dozens of like-minded people. These events are often very life-changing, not to mention a great deal of fun!

I'll be spending about a week in Zurich, and Rachelle will be there too. So if you see us at the event, be sure to walk right up, share a hug, and introduce yourself.

Once again, we're flying to Europe with only one-way tickets, so once we're there, we'll follow the path of inspiration until we decide it's time to return home. Later next year, this mode of living will become a central part of our ongoing lifestyle since we won't have a static place to call home anymore.

Twitter Impersonation

As many people have already discovered, someone has been impersonating me on Twitter recently. After I closed and deleted my social media accounts in July (and explained why in my blog), someone apparently re-registered my old Twitter account and started posting under the same account name (stevepavlina), pretending to be me and using my name, my website URL, and a photo of me. The account has been posting a bunch of generic self-help quotes that aren't actually from me. Since this was re-registered as a new account, the follower count was reset to zero, so this person didn't just inherit all of my previous Twitter followers. But the URL for the Twitter page is the same one I'd previously been using for years, so I'm sure there are still a lot of links to it. The follower count is up to a few hundred people now, many of whom may not realize they're being duped.

Twitter permits people to have fan accounts, but it's against their Terms of Service for people to impersonate others. Moreover, this sort of activity is also illegal. So whoever is using that account is breaking the law as well as violating Twitter's ToS.

I'm also aware that people have been reporting this impersonation activity to Twitter, asking them to shut it down. I can verify that Twitter knows about this since someone from their support department contacted me about it after someone else reported it. Then they actually wanted me to prove to them that I am who I am, even though I don't even use their service and they contacted me. Even so, I shared the proof that I own StevePavlina.com and verified that it's not my account anymore, giving them enough info that should satisfy any reasonable person. But then they wanted even more proof, asking me to send them a copy of my ID. I felt that was going too far. I'm not going to jump through hopes to prove that I am who I am so as to satisfy their ridiculous rules.

As far as I'm concerned, if Twitter isn't going to honor their own Terms of Service and allow illegal activity on their service, that's between Twitter and its users. I no longer have a Twitter account and don't use their service anymore. Twitter has already been made aware of the situation and has acknowledged it.

I'm sharing this since I want you to know that if you interact with someone on Twitter or Facebook who's pretending to be me, it isn't me since I don't have accounts with those services. How you deal with such people is entirely up to you.

Creating Your Reality vs. Obeying Traditions

During the 1960s the term Black Friday was used by police officers in Philadelphia to refer to the terrible "black" day they could expect after Thanksgiving, a day of traffic jams, overcrowded public spaces, and mandatory 12-hour shifts. For the police and for some other city employees, it was a predictably miserable day.

Today the term refers to a day when retailers attempt to persuade people to spend lots of money on consumer goods.

This Thanksgiving weekend (from Thursday through Sunday), the average holiday shopper in the USA will spend over $400. About 140 million Americans are expected to shop during this time.

Why do people participate in this holiday shopping frenzy? Some genuinely enjoy it as a fun and festive activity. Others simply conform to the social expectations that tell them to spend a lot of money at this time of year, mostly on gifts.

I enjoy the festive spirit that many people exude around this time of year. But I found the obligatory annual gift-buying unsatisfying... sometimes annoying. I wasn't very good at shopping for other people, nor did I really care to get good at it. I realized that the only reason I was still participating in holiday gift exchanges was because of social pressure. I was obeying a social command.

Of course we don't actually have to obey social commands if we don't feel they're aligned with our values and desires. We can always opt out and accept the consequences of doing so. A natural consequence of opting out of buying gifts for others is that they won't likely buy gifts for you. That seems fair, doesn't it?

A few years ago, I opted out of holiday gift exchanges, letting everyone know I would no longer participate -- including for birthdays, Christmas, or anything else. I made it clear that I didn't expect gifts from anyone else either. I let them know that I appreciated their previous gifts but didn't want to maintain this tradition since it didn't feel good to me.

What happened? There was a minimal amount of resistance at first, and then everyone accepted it. Actually I think some were relieved that they no longer had to buy gifts for me. My decision made their lives easier.

Now every time the holidays come around, I feel relieved and grateful that I'm no longer expected to participate in gift exchanges. Looking back, I realize that that feeling of obligation reduced some of my enjoyment at this time of year. I often saw obligatory gift buying as an unwelcome, forced addition to my to-do list. Now that I've opted out, I enjoy the holiday season a lot more. I am so incredibly glad that I don't have to repeat the same cycle of gift buying year after year.

Seeing other people go into a buying frenzy actually makes me smile because it reminds me how much I appreciate my freedom. It's the same feeling I get when I see people going to work on a Monday morning.

As Kahlil Gibran wrote in The Prophet, "If you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distils a poison in the wine." If you don't enjoy an activity yet engage in it anyway, you ruin the output. Who actually wants to receive a gift that was purchased out of obligation instead of choice?

If you're going to obey your social conditioning, then obey it because you truly agree with it. Do it because you're choosing it freely, not because you feel obligated or because you fear or resist the consequences of opting out.

Black Celebrations

In the USA the Thanksgiving holiday is traditionally celebrated with a dead animal on the table, which people then devour. That was always how my family celebrated it. But when I went vegetarian and then vegan many years ago, that part of the tradition didn't feel good to me. I'd feel sad about the unnecessary violence and disappointed in the people around me for their lack of compassion. I don't see how spending time with family should require violence towards animals. A non-vegan holiday dinner is always a black celebration.

For many years after going vegan, I still participated in those big family holiday dinners, doing my best to suppress the sadness and disconnection I felt. I appreciated that my Mom would make some extra vegan items to accommodate my diet. But I still felt incongruent under those conditions. I was participating out of obligation.

Some time ago I finally realized it was time to stop participating in such traditions. So I stopped. No more black celebrations.

Now when I celebrate Thanksgiving and other holidays, I do so in alignment with my values instead of obeying traditions that conflict with my values. Some years I've celebrated Thanksgiving potluck style with dozens of other vegans. Other times (like yesterday), I enjoyed a beautiful dinner with my girlfriend and her amazing cooking, followed by a nice walk in the cool night air. It feels so much better to me when the holiday isn't infected with an undercurrent of violence towards animals.

Why continue to participate in obligatory black celebrations when you can create your own pure celebrations in alignment with your values?

Obligation or Freedom

When you choose to modify your reality to bring it into alignment with your values, there will be some side effects of course. You may initially fear or resist those effects. Social pressure will often make minor consequences appear scary and threatening.

When you decline to obey some obligation, it's fair to expect that people will balk at you. Your decision will probably surprise them. There's no need to fear this. Let them have their reactions. Just stick to your decision, and give them time to adjust. If they can see you're certain, they'll usually get over it quickly. And even if they don't accept it, you can still adhere to your decision -- at least for the sake of your own sanity and growth.

The hardest part of this is accepting that when you bring yourself into greater alignment with your values, you're going to feel more distanced from people who have incompatible values. There's a tendency to cling to these relationships even when strong values conflicts are present, but in the long run this just leads to insecurity and resentment.

If your values are out of sync with your traditions, obligations, and expectations, do yourself a favor and update the latter instead of compromising the former. You'll never be happy and fulfilled if you keep violating your own values.

As a creative being, you're more powerful than any tradition. You aren't obligated to obediently follow someone else's tradition, no matter how firm or established it may seem. You're always free to choose a fresh path for yourself.

There are some parts of my past traditions that I still like, so I keep those parts and make them my own. As for the rest, I discard or modify it to match my values. Now whenever the holidays roll around, I feel so much better. The tension-creating aspects have been discarded.

When you release incongruent obligations, you'll enjoy the added benefit of unlocked more of your creative abilities. You'll summon more freedom and power to sculpt and reshape other parts of your life. The more incongruent traditions you shed or adjust, the more you'll feel empowered to take bigger steps away from others' expectations and deeper into an exploration of your most cherished values.

Another way of saying this is that you cannot isolate disempowerment. When you obey incongruent traditions and practices, you weaken your whole being. You trample your creative energies. You make yourself powerless across the board. The good news is that whenever you shed one of these incongruencies, you regain some creativity and power that you can apply to all parts of your life.

A Moving Target

Your values are always shifting and changing. They aren't static entities. Staying aligned with them can be quite a challenge.

My perspective on this is that aligning your reality with your values is supposed to be a lifelong process. This is your primary path of growth and development. It is not a static state to be achieved once, with victory declared and complacency to follow. Alignment is a moving target. As soon as you overcome one hurdle, another presents itself.

I find that I can still enjoy a delightful sense of fulfillment even when my reality isn't quite aligned with my values -- as long as I'm actively making process to increase the alignment. It's the movement that matters. Even baby steps provide feelings of progress.

Yesterday while Rachelle made dinner, I processed and set aside several more bags of personal possessions to donate to charity. Relative to the entire project, it was only a small step, but it felt good to take that step. Deciding to let go of those items that I no longer need makes me feel a little more aligned with my values. I feel a little lighter... a little freer... a little more empowered to take the next step.

During this time of year, I encourage you to question how you feel about the traditions and practices you're still obeying. What expectations do you feel compelled to satisfy? Do you feel good about them? Are they aligned with your values today? Or do you feel stressed and pressured to conform and obey? Could you create a purer alternative if you chose to do so?

When in doubt just ask yourself: Is this [tradition / event / celebration / practice] really me? If your answer sounds like, "Oh yes, this is so me!" then keep it going. Otherwise you have some changes to make.

Realize that you are free -- free to choose, free to change, free to opt out, free to create anew. You do not have to obey any tradition that has fallen out of sync with your values. You can create your own traditions that make you happy to practice them.

Steve Recommends

Here are my recommendations for products and services that I've personally reviewed and which I believe can help you on your personal growth journey. This is a very short list since it only includes my top picks.

Site Build It! - Build an income-generating website.
Lefkoe Method - Permanently eliminate a limiting belief in 20 minutes.
PhotoReading - Read books 3x faster (discounted for my readers).
Paraliminals - Accelerate your personal growth (discounted for my readers).
Getting Rich with Ebooks - Earn passive income from ebooks.
Sedona Method - Free Audio - Learn to release blocks in a few minutes
The Journal - Keep a secure journal on your PC.
Life on Purpose - Discover your life purpose.

Until next time, live consciously!

This newsletter is uncopyrighted. Feel free to share it, such as by forwarding it to friends or by posting it on your blog.
www.StevePavlina.com

Saturday, September 6, 2014

StevePavlina.com Personal Development Insights Newsletter Issue #64 - August 8, 2014

StevePavlina.com Personal Development Insights Newsletter

Issue #64 - August 8, 2014 - www.StevePavlina.com

What You Need to Say Yes to CLW

Here's a detailed update about the upcoming Conscious Life Workshop, which kicks off in two weeks in Las Vegas. I've also sprinkled in some cool personal growth ideas to share, so this is actually a combination of promoting the workshop and a new article.

We now have 104 people signed up for CLW, which is absolutely terrific. That will bring an amazing amount of transformational energy into the room. :)

The main purpose of this workshop is to help you bring into balance 3 core parts of your life:

Fulfilling Work - Do work you deeply enjoy and find very satisfying and rewarding.

Abundant Income - Create income streams that give you a sense of abundance, knowing you can easily afford what you desire. At CLW we'll focus on strategies you can use to earn $10,000 per month or more.

Happy Lifestyle - Create an overall lifestyle that you love, with time and resources to explore your hobbies and interests, such as travel, music, art, etc.

What's unique about this workshop is that we're focusing on all three of these goals simultaneously and holistically.

The Big Picture

In this workshop we go for the total package -- fulfilling work + abundant income + happy lifestyle. All three.

I know that a lot of attendees have one or two of these elements working well for them (some have zero), and they really want to progress beyond that. A lot of people get stuck in these local maxima, where it seems like getting the total package will require a step backwards. The truth is that it very well may. At CLW we'll help you get a clearer sense of what your total package looks like and whether you can realistically achieve it by continuing along your current path or by doing a minor pivot... or if it will require a more ground-up transformation of your entire situation.

Personally I've done both, depending on my situation. In 2004 I did a ground-up reconstruction of my career path. After running a computer game publishing company for 10 years, I was ready for something new. I generally liked the work, but I wanted more fulfillment. The technical and creative challenges were fun, but I wanted to contribute more to people's lives than entertainment software. This gradually showed up as I moved away from arcade/action games and into more cerebral puzzle games, so I could challenge players' brains in ways that might actually benefit them. But I knew a bigger change was needed.

I made good money from my games business. It took me six years to start making a profit from it, but I eventually figured it out. I was able to create multiple streams of mostly passive income from a variety of game releases, publishing about two dozen titles, including many licensed from other developers.

As a game developer, I also wanted a better lifestyle. Working in a mobile fashion wasn't as common back then. I was usually tied to a desk or a small outside office that I rented. I liked some aspects of the lifestyle, but other parts were repetitive and dull. Today I think this would be less of an issue. I could easily run a modern games business from a laptop. Back then it wasn't as easy with slow and bulky laptops, no WiFi, and a much smaller, slower Internet.

I also didn't like spending so much time working alone. Yes, I liked solo work, but I want to keep it in balance with people-centered work too. I used to love going to the Game Developers' Conference and hosting an indie developer roundtable there -- it was so much fun to interact with other developers.

Eventually I kicked off a transition to a whole new field -- from game development to personal development. This involved writing articles instead of programming games, getting into public speaking, interacting with personal development enthusiasts instead of game enthusiasts, and creating new income streams from scratch. I believe it took me around 18-20 months to pass $10,000 per month with the new business, a target I hit in 2006. That was a lot better than the roughly 8 years it took me to get there with my games business. I was able to avoid the mistakes I'd made in the past and re-apply the valuable lessons from my first business to the second. I have some really cool lessons to share along those lines at CLW.

This type of career and lifestyle transformation can be motivating, exciting, and inspiring... or frustrating, stressful, and risky, depending on how you approach and manage it. There are simple principles and strategies that can significantly increase your chances of success. There are also a number of transformational accelerators that you can apply within minutes. Read the priming articlefor some examples of fast and simple ways to improve your performance. I'll be sharing even more depth and some truly amazing priming strategies at CLW. We'll also be applying them right there in the room, to pre-prime your brain for success.

Priming

Priming is one of the core strategies we'll be using at CLW, although certainly not the only one. The benefit of priming is that it pre-programs your subconscious mind to help you achieve your goals. Think of it as the neuroscience equivalent of using the Law of Attraction.

I've been experimenting with the priming effect extensively this year, and I'm impressed with the results thus far. As a simple example, several weeks ago, before I announced this new workshop, I used priming to make myself believe we'd have 100+ attendees. I didn't consciously believe it though.

There were a lot of logical reasons for me to believe that achieving 100+ attendees was unrealistic. Here are some of the bigger ones:

Reaching 100 attendees was a stretch. My last 4 workshops each had between 28 and 57 attendees, so hitting 100 was a stretch goal -- a 75% increase over the best of the last 4. Out of 9 previous 3-day workshops I've done, we've only surpassed 100 attendees once, and that was for the very first Conscious Growth Workshop in October 2009. For that workshop there was a lot of pent-up demand, and it was based on my book, which was released a year earlier and was just coming out in paperback at the time.

CLW isn't based on a book. It's all new material, much of which I've never written about before except in a general way. There's no associated book helping to attract attendees, like I had for my first 5 Conscious Growth Workshops, which were typically the best-attended ones.

I had less time to promote CLW than for any prior workshop. I normally announce new workshops at least 3 months in advance, and I've starting promoting as much as 7 months in advance. The minimum I've ever done was about 2.5 months. For CLW, I didn't announce it until June 25, which gave me less than 2 months to promote it since it starts on August 22. I've never given myself so little time to promote a 3-day workshop before. That's more than enough time to prepare and plan the workshop itself, but I felt uncertain giving myself less time to promote it. My intuition said to go for it though, and I've learned to place a high degree of trust in those feelings.

I've never done a workshop in August before. My favorite months for workshops are October and January. After doing a workshop in July 2010 and getting lower attendance for that one, I stopped doing summer workshops. I surveyed some people on social media to ask if they'd be up for an August workshop. Some said they'd go no matter what, but many said it wasn't the best month for them. Yet I still booked it anyway!

On July 6 I deleted my social media accounts. This included my accounts with Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and YouTube (as explained here). I also removed all the social media recommendation buttons from my website. I trusted my intuition that told me it was the right time to do this. Consequently, I was only able to use social media to promote the workshop for the first 12 days. After that, those services were no longer available to me.

With the priming effect, intuition and subconscious action can become powerful allies. Throughout the process of promoting this workshop, I've noticed myself doing things differently than I have in the past. It feels like I'm putting less effort into it, and making some unusual choices, but with better than expected results.

I've also been feeling super optimistic, motivated, and excited to do this workshop. My positive feelings towards this one have been a bit over-the-top. In terms of planning the material, activities, and exercises, I'm way ahead of schedule. I keep getting inspired ideas that I feel compelled to act on right away, earlier than I need.

Neuroscience-Based

For the past two years, I've taken a strong interest in learning more about how the brain works. I've done a lot of reading and a lot of experimenting. Most of that hasn't made it into my blog yet. There's just way too much to blog about, and at this point I've been so much more inspired to explore it than to try to explain it piece by piece. I do want to share it though, but plain text isn't the right medium. It's better to share these ideas experientially and in person.

Within any field, like personal development, there's a tendency for group-think to take effect, where everyone settles into patterns of re-sharing the same ideas in different forms. The Law of Attraction is a good example. How many Law of Attraction coaches came online after the movie The Secret? I must have encountered hundreds!

I wanted to branch out into a related but significantly different field and go looking for gems. I figured that if I understood more about the structure of the human brain, how it processes and stores information, how it thinks, and more, I could surely find some ideas that could be transplanted to the field of personal growth to help people get practical results -- and of course to create new breakthroughs for myself as well. I especially wanted to look for ideas that are not so common already in this field but which are known and proven to be very powerful, as studied in other fields.

Initially I read through a lot of very interesting but sometimes dry and highly technical material. It took a while to find something that could be useful. Over time I began getting a much better high-level picture of what modern neuroscience tells us about how our brains work. Thanks to modern technology, we know so much more about this now than we did 20 years ago.

Perhaps the most basic rule of neuroscience is this: Neurons that fire together, wire together.

That's such a simple concept, and the more I understand it, the more I enjoy devising new ways to test it. I probably have several year's worth of new experiments to try, just based around that one idea.

This concept has been around a lot time. You may have heard of NLP, which is supposed to be based on this idea of changing your neuro-associations. In scientific circles, however, NLP has been largely debunked. Some people still swear by its efficacy, but modern neuroscience seems to be leaving them behind. My research tells me that the basic idea behind NLP is generally sound, but the practical implementation side is terribly flawed. That said, I'd still expect some NLP techniques to have a subtle effect, but in practice that effect is normally drowned out and overwritten by stronger forms of pre-existing social conditioning in the person's environment.

Here's another basic rule: All experience is neural programming.

Imagine you're using a word processor on your laptop to write a book. And imagine that as you used this word processor, it figures out that you're writing a book and adapts its programming to the task. So it modifies the user interface to better suit this particular task. And it self-optimizes its code to be more efficient at book writing and editing.

Now suppose this word processor even modifies the laptop hardware itself. It changes the laptop's internals for more optimal book editing, such as by giving you one that's twice as energy efficient, so you can work longer without needing a recharge. Perhaps it spawns a pair of headphones and a compartment to contain them, so you can listen to relaxing music while you work. Maybe it changes the screen to be taller than it is wide, for better viewing of your book pages. It gives you a super-high res interface with clear, sharp text. It adds extra buttons for shortcuts to your table of contents, chapter markers, etc.

This is essentially how your brain works. As your brain adapts to experience, it changes the firing patterns of existing neurons, but it often grows new neurons too and alters the physical structure of your brain. You may have heard of the concept of neuroplasticity, which basically means that your brain physically modifies itself based on the experiences that you're taking in. And it does this all the time without your being aware of it.

This is where NLP falls short. If all experience is programming, then doing a few minutes of NLP exercises or positive affirmations each day is largely useless. This rule points to a saturation approach as likely to be much more effective. In other words, instead of changing only 5 minutes of your daily input, change many hours of it -- or even all of it. Overload your brain with a massive amount of input in a new direction. What's the best way to do this? Through your eyes.

Video Priming

Presently I've been doing lots of experimentation with using videos. I consciously design the associations I want my brain to have, and I create a simple video in Final Cut Pro to link those associations in time. You could just as easily use iMovie or any other video editing software.

The video is extremely fast, around 2 minutes total in duration but filled with hundreds of associations during that time. It flashes many concepts every second it plays. Most segments of the video are only a fraction of a section in duration.

It's a little like playing a word-association game, where someone says a word like travel, and you say the first word that pops into your head... like fun, adventure, suitcase, packing, airport, etc. But instead of reading your associations, you're writing them -- the way you want them to be.

Usually I watch this video passively and subconsciously. I simply place it within my field of view, off to the side on my iPad or some other screen, and leave it playing continuously while I work or do other tasks. It's usually not distracting. Even though I'm not consciously aware of it most of the time, I know that the 546 million neurons in my visual cortex are taking in this input and processing it continuously. I also know that my visual cortex is significantly faster than my conscious mind and that it should have no trouble processing every detail of the video, especially as it loops, and my brain can continue to train on it and predict what will play next.

Sometimes I consciously watch the video and put my attention on it. Even though it flashes by too quickly to consciously keep pace with it, I'll catch flashes of words and ideas that I know are in the video. Often I'll find myself daydreaming during this time, pondering ideas that bubble up into my conscious mind, or simply relaxing and zoning out into a nice alpha state.

This approach encourages neuron clusters with different patterns to fire together, and therefore towire together.

What happens next is truly fascinating. Usually within a few days, I observe myself making automatic changes in my behavior, without really trying.

For instance, by associating concepts like Workshops and Ahead of Schedule, my brain creates a subconscious link between the concepts. To make the linkages stronger, I include related associations like events, planning, well-prepared, creative, motivated, fun, exciting, etc.

Then I notice that even though I'm not pushing myself to work at all, I keep doing extra work anyway. I'm way ahead of schedule with where I need to be with the workshop. I've been working longer hours than usual lately but barely noticing the time passing -- I get totally immersed in the work, and the time flies by.

I credit the priming effect with helping me quit social media. Even though I wasn't priming that idea directly, it aligned behaviorally with concepts I have been training with, like increased productivity.

At CLW I'll show you how to use this idea -- and many others -- to help rewire your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors in ways YOU desire. Much of this will be practiced at the workshop itself. And I'll provide you with tools and techniques to take home with you and keep making progress. Best of all, these tools are easy and fun to use!

Sound good? It sure sounds good to me. :)

I love this type of exploration because it connects the dots between my past programming experience and my personal growth work. It's been a lot of fun -- and quite wondrous -- to keep coming up with new ways to use neuroscience-based ideas to produce personal growth results. The strangest part is that I'm usually not consciously aware that any change has occurred. But then I observe myself behaving quite differently in ways that create positive results. At first that was unsettling, but I like growing quickly, and I'm gradually getting used to the faster directional shifts that this approach creates.

Join Us!

Seriously now... get off your butt and join us! With 100+ people there, this workshop is going to be so much fun!

We've already hit the stretch goal of 100 people coming. And we still have two full weeks left. That's plenty of time to make travel arrangements, even if you're coming from a different country. I believe we already have 25-30 people coming from outside the USA, including from as far as Australia and South Africa -- and many from Canada and Europe -- so you'll have plenty of company there. Traveling is doable. We have airplanes!

When you arrive at CLW on the first morning, you'll see me there when you pick up your badge. I always like to personally greet -- and hug (with their consent) -- everyone as they arrive. People generally share lots of hugs with each other too, especially if they've been to previous events. This helps people feel more relaxed and connected and creates a fun, lively energy in the room when we first begin.

You'll have plenty of time to enjoy Las Vegas too. We let you out at 5:30pm on Friday and Saturday, and at 4pm on Sunday, so you'll have the whole evening to explore and enjoy all the craziness that Las Vegas has to offer. Thanks to a $350 million investment in the Downtown Project, this part of Las Vegas has been undergoing a significant transformation. So you'll see a lot of new things in the area.

If you're vegan like me, be assured there's vegan food within easy walking distance, including a new vegan/raw restaurant that opened up in the nearby Container Park. It's about 10-minute walk from our hotel, right down Fremont Street (which you've surely seen in movies depicting Las Vegas). You might also enjoy Nacho Daddy, which can make you a huge plate of vegan nachos with vegan Daiya cheese. They even have multiple kinds of vegan nachos!

Our new workshop coordinator is also creating a restaurant list for a variety of diets, so we'll make it as easy as possible for you to find food nearby that you like.

Las Vegas is a very service-oriented city, so you're likely to notice that the service here is typically faster and friendlier than in many other U.S. cities.

And there's a Starbucks right below our workshop room! You'll surely see it right as you get to the conference center since it's next to the elevators and stairs. So if you love coffee or like going to workshops caffeinated, there's easy access as you come in. In fact, our hotel has not one but two -- yes TWO -- Starbucks! The second one has a nice patio where you can hang out with other workshop attendees while people-watching on Fremont Street.

Now I'm craving an espresso... Are you feeling that too? Yes? :)

This is August in Las Vegas, so expect it to be hot during the day. That's fine for us since we'll be in a nice air-conditioned room together. The summer nights in Vegas are gorgeous, pleasantly warm and dry even late at night. We have beautiful sunsets over the mountains. Even when it rains here in the summer, it's still pleasantly warm... and often accompanied by a dazzling show of lightning bolts.

Workshop registration is only $597, which is an amazingly good price for this type of event. My friends in this field tell me I should charge $1000 to $2500. But I know my audience, and I'd rather help more people. I keep the pricing high enough to make sure people are serious and committed, and low enough to make it widely affordable and accessible.

Last I checked, the hotel still had rooms available -- first come, first served. And if you want to save a little money, there's always AirBnB and couchsurfing.

Sign up and join us! Yes, it takes a little courage. So be courageous and come to Vegas. We'll take good care of you, even if this is your first personal growth workshop ever. Stretch yourself. Live a little!

In case you need a little priming help to nudge you over the edge, here you go. :)

Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm now signing up for the Conscious Life Workshop in Las Vegas. Fun! Fun! Fun! Awesome Transformation! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Go here -> Conscious Life Workshop, click "Register Now", and get yourself booked on a plane to Las Vegas for a very fun and transformational trip. :)

And free caffeinated hugs!!! :)

Conscious Life Workshop (CLW)

Aug 22-24, 2014
Golden Nugget Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas

CLW is a powerful new lifestyle design workshop. At CLW you'll explore and discover how to make your path with a heart financially sustainable. Learn how to center your life around doing what you love while you generate abundant income from your interests to fuel your desired lifestyle.
Learn more...

Registration: $597

Steve Recommends

Until next time, live consciously!

This newsletter is uncopyrighted. Feel free to share it, such as by forwarding it to friends or by posting it on your blog.
www.StevePavlina.com

StevePavlina.com Personal Development Insights Newsletter Issue #63 - July 2, 2014

StevePavlina.com Personal Development Insights Newsletter

Issue #63 - July 2, 2014 - www.StevePavlina.com

Conscious Life Workshop in Las Vegas

I'm thrilled to announce that you can now register for our upcoming 3-day Conscious Life Workshop. The dates are August 22-24, 2014 (Friday-Sunday). The workshop will be at the Golden Nugget Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

All the workshop details can be found on the Conscious Life Workshop page.

The main theme of CLW is lifestyle design. It's specifically about how to follow your path with a heart AND earn plenty of money to fund your path -- without having to get a regular job. The goal of the workshop is to help you create new income streams in alignment with your values, your conscience, and your desire to contribute.

CLW will be a very personal workshop. The point isn't to teach you to do what I do, but rather to draw out the strategies, habits, and skills that will work for your unique mix of values and abilities. To really personalize the workshop for the people in the room, I've been sending a few simple questions to everyone who signs up, inviting them to share more details about their journey thus far, so we can tailor the workshop for their specific needs and desires.

CLW will be very interactive too -- with a good mix of instruction, exercises, stories, demonstrations, games, group sharing, and fun challenges. This workshop is for people who want to learn by doing, so you can return home with new skills, new friends to support you, and a new vision of how to create and fund the lifestyle you desire.

Please keep in mind that the $100 early bird discount is good through July 22, so you'll get the best possible deal if you sign up between now and then. We also have a group discount rate with the hotel, which is good through July 22 as well.

Take a look at the Conscious Life Workshop page, and see if you think it's a good fit for you.

Workshop FAQ

If you have questions about the workshop, please consult the Workshop FAQ first. It packs in a lot of info.

I did my best to anticipate any questions you may have about the workshop, travel arrangements, and staying in Las Vegas. If you have a question that isn't answered there or on the main workshop page, please submit it via my contact form, and I'll be happy to help.

Slutty Indulgence

One of my favorite ways to experience life is through total immersion in something that grabs my attention. When I get into something new, I like to REALLY get into it. I love that my lifestyle gives me the ability to obsess over a new hobby or interest for as long as I desire.

An example would be when I began exploring raw foods. I spent many hours reading websites on the subject. I bought and read several books about raw foods. I bought a juicer, a dehydrator, nut milk bags, and various other kitchen items. I paid for coaching from a long-term raw foodist. I drove to Raw Spirit Fest in Sedona, Arizona, where I watched lectures, indulged in free samples, talked to vendors, and attended food prep demos. I went to local raw food meet-ups and potlucks and hosted some at my house. I went to farmers' markets and bought lots of organic produce. I tried many new recipes. I did multiple trials of different variations of a raw foods diet, including one for six months.

This is my favorite way to learn. I figure that if something is worth exploring, it's worth exploring deeply. I like to fully become what I explore rather than just dabbling in it.

Being Slutty

I sometimes think of this part of my personality as the slut. For some people this word has a negative connotation. I see it as a compliment. If I call someone a slut, it means I think highly of them for indulging in their passions so completely.

What is a slut anyway? Technically it's used to refer to someone who indulges in sexual experiences with multiple partners. That seems like a very positive thing to explore, especially when it's done very consciously and lovingly. It means you're spending time making people feel good.

To be truly slutty, however, you must break the rules of conservative society. Those stick-in-the-mud types will label you as going off the deep end for indulging in your passions and interests. I say let them. Leave them behind to wallow in their freakish misery. Or poke fun at them for their stick-in-the-mudness since getting them to laugh at their stuckness can help wake them up a bit.

While it's certainly possible to take your sluttiness too far, such as by endangering yourself or others, I do think that some degree of slutty indulgence is a perfectly valid -- and delightful -- part of personal growth.

There's only so much we can learn through casual dabbling, by reading, and by watching videos.

Slutty Surprises

I like to use the slutty indulgence approach even when I suspect it may be a bad idea. By indulging in something that catches my attention, I enjoy the occasional surprise. I find new growth experiences where I didn't expect to find them.

A few years ago, Rachelle and I took a road trip to Napa Valley in California. We spent a full day visiting five different wineries, tasting several wines at each one. At the last winery, we sat on the back porch overlooking the vineyard, while sipping some fairly generous wine samples and playing fetch with a dog as the sun set behind the hills. It was a beautiful Sideways-inspired moment.

Prior to this trip, I had somewhat negative associations to wine. There was a point in my life where I went several years without having so much as a sip of any type of alcohol. I wouldn't even use vanilla if it had alcohol in it. I've never had any addiction issues with alcohol -- I don't seem to have the gene that predisposes me to find it addictive -- but in college I definitely over-indulged in it, so swearing it off seemed like a good thing.

But with the Napa trip, I gave myself permission to indulge. By giving myself the opportunity to explore my indulgent side, I really enjoyed the experience and learned a lot from it. I learned more about wine making than I ever knew before. I learned how to tell a good wine and a bad wine. I learned to pay attention to the subtleties of taste in ways I never bothered to notice.

I also learned that the price of the wine has little to do with its quality. I learned about the marketing side and how consumers can be manipulated, which helps me watch out for similar tactics in other fields. I discovered that most of my favorite wines can be gotten for $10-15 a bottle.

If you want a very simple tip for finding good wines, pick up a random red wine in the $10-15 price range from Costco. I'd say you have about a 75% chance of getting a pretty good one. Since Costco doesn't have the biggest selection, they're very selective about which wines they carry and have a team of savvy people who decide what to stock. So even though they carry fewer varieties than most large stores, the average quality and value are much higher than elsewhere. What they do stock is generally good and sold at a good price. I get better results from random Costco selections than from going into a dedicated wine store and getting a personal recommendation, even if I pay a lot more at the wine store.

I never thought I'd enjoy wine. It seemed like such a fluffy, perhaps even self-destructive thing to try. I used to look down on people who were into it. But I've since learned that a little indulgence here and there adds a lot of spice to my life. It helps me pay more attention to aesthetics, which is something I've had a tendency to discount in the past.

I'm no sommelier, but I also find it fun and rewarding to introduce other people to wine, especially those I expect would enjoy it but who don't know much about it. In terms of personal growth, it's fun to have developed a new skill set. Even though I still consider this exploration trivial compared to other interests, I still get some enjoyment from it, and the skill set has also been gradually transferring to other parts of my life. For example, I now pay more attention to the subtleties of touch than I used to. Just as every wine is different, every cuddle session can take on different subtleties as well. :)

Indulging in Mistakes

What if you indulge in the wrong thing and it turns out to be a mistake?

I think it's perfectly okay to make mistakes. I happen to like making mistakes I can be proud of. They can be terrific growth experiences, packed with valuable lessons.

My first attempt at running a computer game company was a grand mistake to be sure. I indulged in my passion for computer games and started a business right after graduating from college. I had no prior business training or relevant experience. I got an office in El Segundo, California. I put a team together. I created some game demos. I hired an agency to help me get publishing deals. I signed contracts and began working on retail projects. Partly through luck, I did a lot of things right. But I made some major mistakes along the way. I picked bad business partners. I spent too much money too quickly. I took on too much risk. I didn't pay enough attention to income generating activities. I tried to impress publishers instead of making games for the players. Results-wise I sank into debt and went bankrupt. But despite that result, I did successfully indulge in starting a business and working in the computer gaming industry. I got financially spanked for it, but I still did it.

As a result of that indulgence, I learned so many lessons about business, money, productivity, and more. I developed many new skills during that time, such as the ability to understand and negotiate legal contracts. I created my first website in 1995, which got me started with doing business online. Behind those mistakes were a lot of positive stepping stones. I had no idea that what I learned back then would benefit me so much with my personal development business years later. With the benefit of hindsight, I can say I'm glad I didn't just dabble in game development. I gave it my slutty indulgent best.

Indulging in your temptations isn't always such a bad thing. Sometimes there are unseen benefits you might never otherwise discover. Maybe there's a reason you find certain possibilities so attractive. What might happen if you gave yourself permission to fully indulge in them for a while instead of semi-resisting them?

Small Obsessions

One of the key lessons I learned when I was broke was that I have the power to create a life that I love no matter what my finances look like. One of the ways I do this is by giving myself the freedom to obsess over the little things in life. There's something about slutty indulgence that can make life a lot of fun, even when our personal resources may be scarce.

When I didn't have extra money to spend, I loved to indulge in long walks at night. I loved to obsess about my favorite music. I loved to check out five or ten books or audio programs from the library and devour them all. I used to love going to a local bookstore, grabbing a book from the shelf, and trying to read the whole thing in one sitting, so I wouldn't actually have to buy the book. Sometimes I'd even take notes, treating the bookstore as my personal library. :)

Even when I was a kid, I used to love obsessing about my favorite interests. One of my favorite songs when it first came out was "Down Under" by Men at Work. My next door neighbor loved that song too. We used to tape record it each time it played on the radio -- and it got a lot of air time, so that wasn't hard to do. Then we would have our own cassette tapes that could play the song repeatedly without having to rewind. We did a challenge together to see who could record "Down Under" the most number of times in a weekend. I won by recording it 14 times in a row. Then I had a cassette where I could listen to it 14 times without having to rewind. Of course this was before the days of CDs and MP3 players where you could much more easily play a single track repeatedly. And at least today you don't have to feel pissed off when the radio announcers talk over the music. :)

Moderation has its place, but don't overlook the value of obsession. When you look back on your life, do you find it easier to remember your moderate days or your obsessive ones? As you age, would you rather look back on your moderate memories? Or would you prefer to recall your slutty indulgences? I'll take the slutty memories. :)

Slutty Relationships

I especially love slutty indulgence when it comes to exploring relationships.

Socially we're conditioned to avoid taking social risks. We're taught that rejection is something to be feared. We don't allow ourselves to shamelessly broadcast the personality traits that would make us a one for some people and a ten for others. Instead we broadcast that safe six to seven middle range for everyone. Sixes and sevens don't have to worry much about rejection, but they don't get many invites either.

If you don't take the risk of repulsing someone, you'll never be as attractive as you could be.

Personally I think the personal growth teachers who promote that we should transcend our egos have been smoking way too much pot. Can you imagine what it would be like to live in a totally ego-less society? I'd put a bullet in my brain from sheer boredom.

I think we're better off doing just the opposite. Let's develop even stronger egos and broadcast our desires shamelessly. Show the world who you really are.

Some corporations would love to strip you of your personality quirks. People with drab personalities make great automatons. But what does that do to your life then?

I'd rather live in a world of strong personalities and characters. That doesn't have to lead to violent confrontation. I think it would reduce violence since then it would be so much easier to find and connect with other strong-willed, like-minded people. We'd have so many slutty opportunities to indulge in our passions together that we wouldn't need to waste time on conflicts.

Once we let go of the delusion that we're such pure, ego-transcendant angels, then we can finally release the guilt and disappointment of not measuring up to that phony standard. And we can enjoy tremendous freedom to be fully and shamelessly ourselves.

Holistic Sluttiness

What if someone accuses you of being too slutty? Instead of defending yourself, raise. Take ownership of your desire for slutty indulgence. Make holistically slutty invites with others when you think it would be fun and rewarding to indulge with them as well. Don't apologize. Poke fun at them for even having an issue with it. This has the benefit of giving them permission to explore their indulgences with you, knowing that you're not going to judge them for it.

Suppose a woman says to me, "I'm concerned that maybe you just want to use me for my body."

In that case I might reply, "I TOTALLY wanna use you for your body. You look really yummy to me. If you hang around, you're going to be so sore the next day! Then after you recover, we can indulge in all sorts of other yumminess together too." Then I'll suggest other ways we could indulge in exploring and connecting together.

If the woman isn't used to guys being this honest and direct, or if she suspects it's some kind of manipulation she's never encountered before, or if she doesn't like this type of playful spirit, it may scare her off. I'm okay with that. I love women who can join me on the slutty indulgence path.

It's fun to delve into a deep connection quickly and see where it leads. I find this preferable to traditional dating, which is way too sluggish for me. I'd rather connect with someone where we can explore a mutual "hell yes" together, as opposed to being strung along by a "well maybe."

It's wonderful having a like-minded girlfriend. When Rachelle and I are together, I'll suggest seemingly crazy and indulgent experiences for us to try next, partly to see how she reacts. One of my favorite things to say to her is: Talk me into it, or talk me out of it. She knows that when I suggest a potential new slutty indulgence, she has the option to see the fun side of it and to lean into it with me. Or she could steer me away from an idea if she dislikes it.

After binge-watching season 2 of House of Cards earlier this year, I said to Rachelle, "Let's go to Washington, DC! It'll be fun!" It was February and freezing cold there. A couple days later we were on a plane. We had a blast freezing our butts off while exploring the Capitol for a week.

In April we went skydiving together.

In June we got a fancy new espresso machine and have been experimenting with all kinds of new espresso drinks. It has 16 different grind settings!

In 2005 I wrote an article called How to Give Up Coffee. That's where I was in 2005. Perhaps in a month or two, I could write, "How to Make Great Espresso."

Sluttiness and Identity

How can you reconcile slutty indulgences with your sense of identity? Might you worry about being too random? What about violating your values?

I do have very strongly held values, and I like having a sense of consistency on my path. My values include growth, learning, and exploration, so identifying myself as an explorer works very well. This is a nice way to give myself permission to fully indulge in the sluttiest of explorations without losing my sense of self.

This also gives me a good way to weed out the reasonable explorations from the unreasonable ones. I love to indulge when I expect to learn something new. But if I feel there's nothing new for me on that path, or if I feel the explorations would ultimately be self-defeating, I'd rather avoid them.

I like exploring in areas where I don't know what to expect. I am still surprised a lot. I learn more from the surprises than I do from the predictable outcomes.

Since I also have the capacity to share what I learn on this path, even if I make some mistakes now and then, I can still help people by sharing my mistakes and what I learned from them. So even when I fail, it becomes a positive lesson to share.

Discovering New Passions

Later this month I'll be going to the Winnipeg Fringe Festival. I love independent theater. In the summer of 2012, I saw about 60 plays at the Winnipeg and Edmonton Fringes. Every play is a unique experience. I never knew I'd like independent theater since I had virtually no exposure to it until Rachelle introduced me to it in 2010. Now it's one of my favorite slutty indulgences. I'll probably see a few dozen plays this month.

We have a tendency to hold ourselves back from exploring when we don't know what to expect. But this leaves us always waiting for the next big event. Then the big event happens, and we're a bit disappointed because it turned out to be predictable and boring.

What about those in-between days? Are they supposed to be dull and repetitive? What if you added some slutty indulgences to your days?

Don't you think it would add more value to your life if you tried something new today -- a tasty new wine... a tasty new espresso drink... a tasty new Canadian? ;)

I found it very empowering to realize that I can make nearly every day of my life a passionate affair through the practice of slutty indulgence. Even if I'm doing something that seems commonplace and mundane, I can still pour my heart into it. I can take a six or seven and turn it into a nine or ten by adding some overly enthusiastic, slutty passion into it.

What slutty indulgence possibilities have you been suppressing? What temptations could you explore?

Go explore! You have permission. :)

Please follow me on Twitter and Google+ for inspirational messages and quick updates.

Steve Recommends

Until next time, live consciously!

This newsletter is uncopyrighted. Feel free to share it, such as by forwarding it to friends or by posting it on your blog.
www.StevePavlina.com